No longer a gentlemen's game

The sledging controversy is the most unfortunate thing to have happened to cricket in a long time and it doesn't seem to end. One player makes a disparaging comment about another, the offended player retaliates, five other players on both sides jump into the fray, and what started as a single comment becomes an incessant episode of name calling. Funny thing is, neither the Australian players nor the Indians seem to know what they're aiming to get out of the whole thing. What they are unwittingly getting is a lot of bad name, not to mention they're disgracing the game itself. The original aim of sledging, to rattle the mental equilibrium of opposition players, seems to have been lost in a mindless exchange of words & is all about revenge now!

Sadly, the media is linking sledging to racism in a bid to grab eyeballs and gain back the viewers who have become indifferent to the media's classification of anything & everything as 'Breaking News' even if it's something as trivial as Amitabh Bachchan having caught a cold (I'm not kidding, this was actually "breaking news" on a Hindi news channel!!). And the audience is biting the bait!

Let's stop & think for a moment...Do we even understand the meaning of racism? There's a very thin line between what can be classified as racist & what's just mindless name-calling.

Racism need not necessarily be expressed in words. It can be felt as well. It is essentially a belief that all members of a race possess characteristics (usually negative) specific to that race, characteristics that somehow make them inferior to other races. Our attitude towards people belonging to that race, that stems from such a belief, is racist attitude. Therefore racism can be in the form of prejudice, discrimination or violence towards an ethnic group based on their skin color, and need not necessarily be of the verbal kind.

I don't think calling someone a 'monkey' or an 'obnoxious weed' classifies as racist. They sound more like personal diatribes. They would have qualified as racist comments if it had been said that white people are monkeys or Indians are all obnoxious weeds!

Classifying sledging of the sort that has plagued international cricket of late is tantamount to trivializing racism as a cognizable offence, and giving mindless jabber more importance than it deserves.

Truth is, there is no place for sledging in the world of sports. The teams go out there to play a game they love enough to have dedicated years of their lives to it, and they should focus on doing just that. Once the players understand why they're out there on the field, unpleasant incidents such as sledging will automatically cease to occur!

However, since neither the Australians nor the Indians seem to be able to grasp this fact, maybe it's time for the ICC to intervene and declare that a ban will be imposed on any player that indulges in sledging, irrespective of whether he's the offender or the retaliator. It may seem harsh but it seems to be the only effective way to get the message across to a bunch of mindless idiots that the game is bigger than any individual player.

I got tagged! (20 questions)

I got tagged by a friend (http://staarin.wordpress.com) so why not!

1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT
On my left wrist. Cut it against the corner of my cupboard. Trust me, I had A LOT of explaining to do when I went to the doc to get it dressed!

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Pictures of my sister & me with a couple of friends. I like to be surrounded by pictures of people.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Dark grey, sleek, razr sharp ;) It's one of the hottest looking phones in the market but that's pretty much all there is to it. Having said that, it's my lifeline.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Pretty much all kinds but retro is what makes my boat float when it's sinking! It's anytime, any mood music. What I love about retro music is that it's so happy! It's pick-me-up music & in today's times of killer jobs, stressful relationships etc., we all need 'pick-me-ups' from time to time!

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
My sister & me, taken at my sister's wedding. Needless to say, we're both looking GORGEOUS! Lol.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Hmmm...

7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
Why not?

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
I don't think even my mum is sure of that! It's always been a guessing game in my house but I've been told 9.15am.

9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
Yes. Knock on wood!

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Pearl Jam!!

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
Nope! I get bored in the dark.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Hmmmm...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Davidoff & Issey Miyake

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Psychadelic! How about purple??

15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
Thank God for them! I have ZERO tolerance for pain.

16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
I've done that in the past, so no!

17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
Chicken. Used to love pepperoni until I found out they're actually pig's intestines! Now, I have no problems with eating pigs but pig's intestines! I don't think so!

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A 5 Star! See, I'm a simple girl with simple needs.
And also pizza...coz I'm on a diet :(
And also ice-cream...coz I have tonsils now & I can't eat ice-creams :((

19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
Hmmm...

These hmmm... people are linked btw ;)

20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Even I'm trying to figure that one out!

Things to be thankful for

All of us constantly crib about the things that are wrong in our lives. Work sucks. We have no love life or worse still, the boyfriend is a jerk. We're not getting paid enough & we're doing way more work than we're supposed to do. We're too fat or too thin. We're too short or too tall. We don't have nice hair. Our shoulders are too broad. Our calves are too fat. We have too many pimples on our face ya di ya di ya da. So I decided to do a quick reality check on the things that I should be THANKFUL for in life & here are my bullet points:

1. I have a family that loves me infinitely & unconditionally. I have amazing parents & a mind-blowing sister who are ALWAYS there by my side & help me whenever I'm in a crisis situation.

2. Inspite of living in a small town, my parents have always given me a lot of independence & been extremely tolerant of my decisions & choices in life. They have never questioned my decisions, and given me advice only when I asked them for it - something not many parents are sensible enough to do!

3. They have never forced me to do something I didn't want to do.

4. They gave me the best education they could afford, as a result today I am self-reliant and can take care of myself financially. Not to mention I can have sensible conversation with people on almost ANY topic that I'm aware of without sounding like a dumb bumbling idiot.

5. They let me move out of home at a relatively young age (18 years) so I could learn to become strong & to take care of myself non-financially as well.

6. I have a job that takes care of my needs, helps me pay my bills and helps me afford the things I want to buy. Not many people are lucky enough.

7. I work in a field I like reasonably well and I work for a company that is globally the biggest brand name within the industry.

8. I have amazing friends who make me feel loved & wanted. I have taken them for granted on many occasions, been selfish, snubbed them, yelled at them, fought with them - something we all do - yet they have ALWAYS been there for me. I LOVE YOU ALL!

9. Here's the best bit on my friends...Most of them are men! And since men are much more practical than women & not as emotional, they are much better equipped to handle crisis situations than women! Thank you God :-)

10. I lead an independent life. I take my own decisions. I make my own choices. I'm free to make my own mistakes & learn from them. I have my own money & am free to spend it the way I like, on the things I want to spend it on.

11. I've been lucky enough to travel to other countries, see different places, learn about other cultures & imbibe the good things from them.

12. My life has been one long roller-coaster (just like anybody else's I suppose). There have been lots of times when things have not worked out, or worked out differently than the way I wanted them to. Things I have lost out on or not been able to achieve. It has seemed incredibly hard at times but whenever I've looked back, I've realized that things always worked out for the best.

I'm sure there are hundreds of other things I need to be thankful for. These are the ones that come to mind right now.I shall write more as & when I think about them:-)

Dilemma

I was caught up in quite a dilemma this weekend.

On the one hand there was my sister who recently got married & moved to another city to live with her husband & his family. Everything is new for her right now...a change of environment, new people, new kinds of interactions with people she hasn't stayed with before. She is obviously swept by the excitement that comes with change. Afterall, we all crave change in our lives from time to time!

On the other hand there were my parents for whom not much has changed with my sister's wedding, except that they know their daughter will now have a world of her own, won't be able to come home whenever they want to see her, and when she visits, it'll be for a few days and her stay won't be like it was when she was growing up in the house or used to come home for vacations while she was in college in Delhi.

This was my sister's first visit home after marriage and there were quite a few instances of friction between her & my parents. For one, my parents want my sister to carry on with her career while she prefers to be a home-maker, atleast for the time being. This is an unsettling thought for my parents. Don't get them wrong - they have complete faith that her in-laws will take good care of her & she'd never be left wanting for anything. But my parents have always brought both of us up with the belief that every girl should be financially independent irrespective of how much her husband earns or how rich a family she marries in to, and should be able to support herself if need be.

I think there's merit to their view. Apart from financial security, a career gives women a great amount of self-esteem and self-confidence. It also leads to a happy relationship as women don't spend their entire day waiting for their husbands to come home and end up fighting because instead of talking to their wives & taking them out, the husbands WILL end up on the internet or watching TV once they're back home from work!

The other incident revolved around name change post marriage. My sister wanted to add her husband's last name to hers while she was filling out her passport renewal form, and though my dad must have seen this coming he wasn't quite prepared for it, and that led to an argument between him & my sister. It was a knee-jerk reaction on my dad's part really. When you've brought up your child with the amount of love & affection that every parent bestows upon their child, it's difficult to suddenly let go! All parents struggle with it at some point of time, and that's something we as kids must understand. It's up to us to make the transition smoother for our parents. When we get married, there's a new world that awaits us. But our parents aren't left with anything new except a sense of loss that the child they nurtured so lovingly all along has moved on.

A world without Mondays

Can you imagine a world without MONDAYS? Wouldn't that be nice! There would be no Monday morning blues, no Sunday evening depression. Would Tuesdays be the new Mondays then? Just like 40s are the new 30s? No it wouldn't! Because then we would have a four day work week, and we can deal with four day work weeks, can't we?

As Craig David says...

I met this girl on Monday
Took her for a drink on Tuesday
We were making love by Wednesday
And on Thursday & Friday & Saturday
We chilled on Sunday

Jodhaa Akbar

Ashutosh Gowarikar's Jodhaa Akbar is an epic movie to say the least. With a running time of almost 3 hrs and 45 minutes, it's not a movie for people with the attention span of a fly! It's not a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat with thrilling action sequences either. It's a slow, languorous movie but makes for a nice watch.

My favorite scene in the entire movie is the sword-fighting scene between Jodhaa & Akbar. The scene drips with sensuality, inspite of being an action sequence. The scene is about a woman who is courageous enough, and who has the self-confidence to take on a man who has challenged her to a physical duel. In a hand-to-hand combat a woman would most probably not win against a man due to obvious physical limitations, but sword-fighting is more about skill, concentration and alertness than physical prowess. The smirk on Akbar's face because he is at once impressed by his wife's ability to master a skill that is predominantly considered a male bastion and knows that he will beat her at it, combined with the anger in Jodhaa's eyes and her feistiness at her pride being wounded, imparts seething sensuality to the scene.

Jodhaa Akbar is a movie that was made for Hritik Roshan, and the actor does almost complete justice to the Mughal ruler who was famous for his secularism, kind-heartedness and tolerance for religions other than his own. I say almost because the one department where he falls slightly short is the voice department. He's a bit too soft spoken to be an emperor though full marks to him for trying his best!

Jodhaa Akbar is the story of two adults whose marriage is a political move, and how they come to admire and respect each other over time. Love is a result of this respect and admiration. So it would have helped Ashutosh Gowarikar's case if he had refrained from calling the movie the love story of Jodhaa and Akbar. The political machinations and extollment of Akbar's virtues get just as much screen time, if not more, as the love story of Jodhaa & Akbar.

It's a testimony to A R Rahman's genius that he's scored a bhajan as well as a Sufi folk song in the same movie. 'Khwaja mere khwaja' elevates you to another level, while 'Marhaba' makes Akbar endearing to all. Then ofcourse, there's 'Jashn-e-Bahara' that is about love and longing, and is as lilting as it gets.

Jodhaa Akbar made me feel great about being born an Indian. Ours is probably the only country in the world where people of all faiths have complete freedom to practise their religions, without being marginalized or made to feel like minority. It's a precious virtue that all of us Indians, regardless of cast, creed or religion, should guard with our lives.

I object!

My exact thought at precisely this moment - I think it's completely unfair that women double-over in pain every month and are still expected to be just as efficient at work as men, while men walk around yelling "We're better than you!"

The IPL mania

The hype and excitement surrounding the IPL is infectious. How can I remain unaffected? So here’s my two bit on the whole thing.

• It’s a revolution in Indian cricket, and I am a big supporter of revolutions – anything that tries to break age old customs, bring a fresh perspective to things, dares to change norms and “the given” are good in my book.

• Having said that, the amount of money that’s there in Indian cricket is sickening! Even worse is the extent to which we (Indians), as a people, patronize cricket at the expense of every other game in the country. I love cricket, and I think Twenty20 was an absolute master stroke both in terms of giving a new lease of life to the game as well as making it possible for the regular office-going time-deprived junta to be able to watch their favorite game. However, the kind of step-brotherly treatment we give to other games is indeed very sad. Come on, what about football and basketball??

• While I totally believe that people who dare to become entrepreneurs and take big risks in life deserve big returns as well, the thought that Shahrukh Khan, Preity Zinta, Vijay Mallya & Mukesh Ambani will be even richer than they already are doesn’t exactly make me jump with joy!

• Ditto for the players. 6 crores, 5.4 crores, 4.5 crores are OBSCENE amounts of money to be splurged on cricket players. Sure, they’re talented, have worked insanely hard at their game to have made it to the national team, and have to work hard everyday to retain their spot on the team. BUT there’s only so much that you can justifying paying a professional…ANY professional. And let’s not forget – we’re a poor country that can’t even afford to provide two square meals a day, healthcare and education to our entire population. And here we are, proudly touting such a shameless waste of money! Surely there are other more deserving avenues where that money can be “utilized”.

Having said all of the above, let me also add that I will be supporting Kolkata & Mumbai (not necessarily in that order) once the IPL games start.

Kolkata because they've got Dada and if there's one city where you can see true love for the game, it's Kolkata (and not Kolkatta or Kolcutta like most people - read morons - pronounce it!). And also for Shahrukh Khan's "play to win" attitude. There's only one way to play any game in life...you play to win!

And Mumbai because it's MY Mumbai and I love the spirit of this city and I love everything about it!

I have no clue though which team I would support if Mumbai & Kolkata play each other...it would be interesting to see which way I swing!!

Unraveling the enigma called 'men'

After years of having male friends that outnumber my female friends by 1000:.001 ratio, I've come to the conclusion that men are the happier of the two sexes.

I believe they are happier due to the following reasons:

1. They know how to compartmentalize their problems. They do not compound all their problems into one big lump that they feel they'll get crushed under. They make these tiny little "one-size-fits-all-problems" boxes in their heads & put a problem in each. And no, it's not necessary to arrange them neatly in a row because APPARENTLY
that's something only women do! The macho men that they are, they can pull out any problem from that mess & solve it with the snap of a finger!

2. A problem remains just that - a problem. It does not lead to other problems. For instance, a bad haircut is a bad haircut. It does not make their face look too fat, or their neck look too short. It does not make their shoulders look too broad, does not make their waist look too big, butt too fat, or thighs look like tree trunks!

3. Their way of dealing with a problem is pretending it doesn't exist. So what if it's Sunday evening and therefore, the most depressing time of the week. They'll call up a mate, shoot some balls, make a couple of baskets and swoosh! Sunday evening is over!!

4. They are totally comfortable with the fact that they WILL mess up in relationships. If they don't mess up in the loyalty department, they will mess up somewhere else. They don't need to look for a way of messing up. It comes naturally to them.

5. Jerk, prick, a**hole are things they know they WILL be called at various times in their lives, so they are completely fine with it. It comes with the package (of being a man). It's an occupational hazard, but you don't change your profession due to mild occupational hazards, do you? So you continue being a man & you continue being a jerk, prick, an a**hole. It's all good just as long as you have the remote.

6. Having possession of the remote control makes them feel that THEY hold the controls of their life & the lives of everyone around them. So what if they actually have no control over anything in this world, really! They have the control INSIDE THEIR HEADS!

7. They can scratch their privates in public whenever they feel like it and for however long, without being stared at or people making "gross!" faces at them. Anyone who can scratch their privates whenever they feel the need to has GOT to be happy in life!


However, men don't have to battle oestrogen & ovaries every month, or waddle around like a fat pregnant duck for atleast nine months in their lives, and this SINGLE-HANDEDLY clinches the battle in the favor of women! The war, rather. It's actually WE who possess the remote control, NOT you! :)

Perspective

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road, up straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up, the rain was pourin' down
There were people standing all around
Something warm rollin' through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said
"Hold me darling just a little while."
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss
But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night.

Some people get the love of their life but lose him/her to fate. Some never get to be with the love of their lives...unrequited love. Some get to be with their love but they don't value what they are blessed enough to have. I'm not sure which set of people is the biggest loser of them all. I guess what we need in life is perspective.

Memories

Every once in a while we find ourselves in a situation where we're looking back at our past relationships and wishing one of them had worked out. We reminisce of the good times we had, and irrespective of how much we've moved on since then and how many relationships we've had, we do feel a twinge of sadness that our relationship with that particular person didn't work out. It's inevitable, slipping into the past, every once in a while. After all, our memories aren't erasable!

I got a text from a friend that said "The reason we hold on to our memories is because they're the only things that don't change when everything around us changes". And I think it's okay to slip back into time, just as long as we know when to snap out of it! It's therapeutic in that we're facing the events that happened to us and dealing with them, instead of suppressing them until they well up and destroy us!

What's important to remember is that the past will not come back to us. The present is what we need to deal with, and the future is what we must work towards. Once
we realize and accept this, it's easier to slip back into our memories from time to time, embrace them, and get on with life.

The inevitable question of life

There comes a time in almost everybody's life, usually after having worked for 5-6 years, when they start questioning what they're doing with their lives. Is what they're doing enough, or is there much more that they can do? Is the direction their life is going in really the direction they want their life to go in? Have they had
too much of what they're doing already?

I certainly seem to have hit that block in life. After four-and-a-half years of working I feel like I need to take some major decisions in life. I have started feeling saturated in the industry I'm in. Don't get me wrong..I don't believe at all that I've already learnt all there is to learn in my industry. But the more I work in this industry, the more I feel that there is life beyond it!

I feel burnt out and bored with what I'm doing. I need a break from work, from the industry I'm in and from living on my own in Mumbai (anyone who's done that knows just what a task it is!). I feel the need to take 2-3 months off, move back with my parents and figure my life out.

Up until now I've been going with the flow. I graduated from school, came back to India, Googled for industries that would match my qualifications and took up the first thing that came my way. One year later, I moved my job and city, and have been in the same organization for the past three-and-a-half years! Now is the time for me to decide whether I want to stay in this industry or I want out. And for that I need time to myself, time to think of the options I have, time to decide which option I want to take up.

I wish I was an American and could simply afford to say "I'm taking a year off to figure my life out!". I wish I could say I want a break from life! Unfortunately that's something that none of us can say, irrespective of how crappy our life gets. I truly envy people who have, or at least feel they have their entire life figured out. Good for them! My quest, it seems, will continue for a while longer. Though I hope that by the end of 2008 I would've taken a definite decision on the direction I want my life to take! I'm surely making an effort :)

My tryst with public transport

Unlike the rest of Bombay that believes in the power of public transport, I have been cabbing it to work and back for the last one & a half months. This has earned me the tag of a brat. Elitist, snobbish...you name it, I've been called it by colleagues & friends. You'd think at least your friends, who are supposed to know you better than your colleagues, would refrain from making such character judgments about you. Well, think again!

So yesterday I made a valiant attempt to take the bus to work and back, and both my attempts were foiled by guess who! Friends, ofcourse!

I fought the urge to hop into the cab and was waiting patiently at the bus stop in the morning when a friend pulled over in his Ford Ikon. He rolled down his windows and sat inside his nice comfortable air-conditioned car laughing at me. I tried to ignore him at first, then I tried pleading with him to leave but when I realized I wasn't getting anywhere, I decided to hop into his car. Oh well, I could always take the bus back from work. Taking public transport one way would be better than cabbing it both ways.

So I went and stood at the bus stop again in the evening and guess what happened! Two of my colleagues, who give me hell every single day for taking the cab to work, spotted me and pulled over in their cab. They kept yelling at me to hop in, and I was actually standing there yelling back "I can't! I have to take the bus! Go away! I need to take the bus! Can't you see I'm making an effort here?" And these colleagues of mine were laughing their arses off! That was the funniest thing that happened to me all of yesterday & we laughed about it all the way back home!

Today I made another attempt to take the bus to work and I succeded! Seems the Gods have finally decided to help me in my quest to shake off the "brat" tag. I hope tomorrow is another good day. Amen.

Losing my religion...How did R.E.M. come up with these lines?

Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Rise Up

My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow so high
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow so high
Rise up...dont falling down again
Rise up...long time I broke the chains
I try..to fly..a while..so high
Direction's sky
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow so high

-Yves Larock

Thank God for nail files & friends!

Just when it looks like it’s shaping up really nicely
Without any interference,
Suddenly it snags on something
and then the whole thing comes apart.
Thank God, for nail files and friends!


"Sometimes it is easier to mess up the good things than to forgive yourself for your flaws and accept that you are deserving of contentment and happiness.”

- Found on a friend's blog. Thanks SB!!

The story of my life....incomplete

She moves, she moves like a breeze
I swear I can't get her out of my dreams
To have her shining here by my side
I'd sacrifice all them tears in my eyes

Aicha Aicha, passing me by
Aicha Aicha, my my my

Slow

Just like fast cars, anything that goes at a very high speed cannot sustain itself for too long & has to crash. At least in the case of driving in the fast lane, if you're lucky you sverve and avoid a crash. Unfortunately, life doesn't always offer us opportunities to save what we have.

Somewhere in the mad rush of fast cars, living in the fast lane, fast track jobs, fast relationships, fast marriages, faster break-ups...we have forgotten what it feels to slow down. We have forgotten what it feels to belong.

Enough said

I remember we were driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone