Stock Taking : 2009

2009 hasn’t been Annus Horribilis for me, neither has it been Annus Mirabilis. It’s been an OK year. A year where you took some good with some bad. Lost some battles and won some. Improved in some areas you wanted desperately to improve on, and maintained status quo in some others.

So how am I better at the end of 2009 vs the beginning?

To begin with, I am fitter and more physically active than I was a year ago. It has involved many MANY loathed painful hours on the treadmill (I love gymming but I hate the treadmill), major cutting down on chocolates, brownies, cheesecakes and such like, a round of the GM diet, and carbohydrate-free dinners. But it has been every bit worth it. At the same time, I have come to terms with the fact that I’m a foodie, and resistance to food is futile and leads to depravation, cravings and over-indulgence. Therefore, I now eat whatever I feel like but in measured proportions. I avoid having desserts after dinner, preferring them to have sometime during the day instead if I must have them. I keep chocolates, pizzas and pasta for days when I’m really them. When eating out, I try to order healthy. For instance, I choose pasta in red sauce instead of cheese sauce. When I’m out eating Indian, I focus on the kebabs rather than the main dish. I choose brown bread over Parmesan Oregano at Subway (all bread tastes the same really!) And I’d like to believe, all this is making a difference.

I shop less and have cut down on impulse purchases significantly. I think I bought only 2 bags all of this year, no shoes that I can think of, and I’ve gone for months without buying clothes! Which, if you ask me is nothing short of miraculous. I now don’t go shopping just because I’m bored on a weekend. I’ve restricted my shopping to when I NEED to buy something or am feeling terribly low & depressed and need the kind of pick-me-up that brownies & cheesecakes can’t provide. (It helps, of course, if you become so fat that you’ve stopped fitting into clothes of any size, heels of stilettos crack under your weight, and no bags, no matter how over-sized, can help you achieve the I’m-not-fat-just-pleasantly-plump look).

And the biggest achievement of all, I have stopped using my credit card. Completely. I now spend only as much as I can fund at that moment (Serendipity, please clap for me!)

As a result of which, my savings are in better shape than they were a year ago. Yup, I’m finally learning the art of saving for a rainy day, and know what? Saving is not impossible or dreadfully difficult. It’s just a little bit challenging and can be mastered with a bit of self-control, which as we all know is a very rare and precious trait in women. So if you have a wife/girlfriend who isn’t a spendthrift, please fall at her feet RIGHT NOW.

My dressing sense has improved thanks to The Boy. Earlier, I wore clothes I liked irrespective of whether they flattered my body type. As regular readers of this blog may know, thanks to my constant cribbing about weight issues and my obsession with losing weight, I’m not reed thin. No scratch that. I’m fat as a cow….at least a piglet in any case….a potato in the least. And now I really understand my body type. I know which clothes suit me and which don’t. I know which parts of my body I should highlight and which I need to camouflage. My color palette too has moved from pink, bright yellow, bright blue and the likes to more warm and earthy colors like olive green, brown, deep purple, burnt orange, dull red, dark grey etc., with a couple of pinks & yellows thrown in occasionally.

Through 2009, I became completely indifferent towards a person I once felt tremendously wronged by. I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him entirely for what he did, or whether I will ever be able to do so, but as of now, he hardly exists for me.

I learnt a new language - Bengali!!

I have stopped comparing my life to those of others and wondering why the bad stuff happens only to me. I’ve realized that everyone has to deal with their own share of problems and I have no clue what another person’s problems are! What I AM sure about is that there’s a whole lot of misery and suffering in the world. There are millions of people whose are much worse off than I am. And I’m going to be thankful for the family, friends, opportunities, health and resources (financial & non-financial) that I’ve had and continue to have.

Still, there are number of improvements I need to bring about in my life. Since psychologists have already declared that New Year’s resolutions are doomed for failure, I abstain from calling them my resolutions for 2010.

I will visit my parents at least twice in 2010. Once a year is not what they deserve.

I’ll refrain from commenting on people and their actions until I’m sure I know them well enough. When did I lose my older non-judgmental self?

I’ll lose the remaining 5kgs, preferably 7. And then we’ll have a big fat cheesecake party…hallelujah!!

I will I will I will cut down on eating out.

I will become more regular at the gym. Regular as in 4-5 times a week, not 4-5 times a year.

I will make a budget every month and stick to it.

I’ll invest more.

I’m going to build on my patience. Right now it’s at zero.

I’ll get angry less often. I’ll try not to get angry at stupid people. I’ll try not to get angry when things don’t go my way. I’ll try not to get angry when things aren’t done the way I want them to be done.

I will walk more. A 10 minute walking distance is not reason enough to hop into a cab.

I’ll give more.

I’ll extend the understanding that I demonstrate towards my friends and acquaintances to The Boy and my parents.

I will write that goddamn book!!

I will get a better grip on my hypochondria.

I’ll take better care of my possessions rather than letting them take care of themselves - because I’m incredibly lucky to be able to afford all those things. I’ll pay better attention to my home rather than leaving everything to my maid and expecting my mom to be this angel who can foresee all my domestic problems and pre-provide a solution for them.

I’ll crib less about things that aren’t to my liking…because for everything that’s wrong in my life, there are at least ten things that are right.

I’ll love my parents, my sister & The Boy more - and show it through my actions – because they love me far more than I think they do.

So here’s looking at you 2010. Give me the courage to make that move which will start the process of me realizing two of my dreams – traveling through Europe and becoming an entrepreneur in 5 years’ time. And please help me be a better, happier and thinner person.