I'm tired & sore from all that working out over the weekend (went back to gym after 5 months!!). Woke up at 6.30 this morning & couldn’t go back to sleep. Now, my eyelids feel like they’re made of lead. Aaaarghhhhh!
Showing posts with label Things I Hate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things I Hate. Show all posts
Monday, December 7, 2009
GRUMPY
Is what I am right now.
I'm tired & sore from all that working out over the weekend (went back to gym after 5 months!!). Woke up at 6.30 this morning & couldn’t go back to sleep. Now, my eyelids feel like they’re made of lead. Aaaarghhhhh!
I'm tired & sore from all that working out over the weekend (went back to gym after 5 months!!). Woke up at 6.30 this morning & couldn’t go back to sleep. Now, my eyelids feel like they’re made of lead. Aaaarghhhhh!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Religious Extortion
What does one do after an impromptu meal of chicken nuggets, fries, a Zinger burger, fried chicken, coke, strawberry shake, brownie with ice-cream and a chocolate cake filled with molten chocolate? Sleep blissfully, you say?
Well, how about getting rudely awakened by a bunch of hooligans who demand chanda?
Kali Puja is around the corner. For the uninitiated, Kali Puja takes place around the same time as Diwali (in fact, this year the two coincide), and is bigger than Diwali for Bengalis. People from “clubs” that organize pujas go around collecting money from residents of the neighborhood to fund the puja. ‘Extorting’ money would be a more appropriate term because that’s what they do! They demand money from you rather than requesting, and threaten you if you don’t acquiesce. They can make your life hell if you refuse to give them money and sometimes even beat people up!
I hate giving chanda. I am not a religious person and I hate people imposing their religious beliefs on me. By all means, organize pujas if it makes you happy but don’t force me to take part in it, either in person or by contributing towards it financially or in any other form. If I respect your sentiments and am willing to put up with the nuisance you create by blocking roads leading to horrible traffic snarls & playing music at the loudest volume till 2 in the night, you too need to respect my sentiments & leave me the hell alone!
The worst thing about these people is that they won’t graciously accept what you give them. The people who came to my place demanded 1200 rupees. After haggling with them for approx. 20 minutes, they settled for 500. This is utter nonsense. Even complaining to the police is of no help. So, one has no option but to give in to their unrealistic demands. I feel victimized. Honestly, I don’t like Calcutta one bit and my dislike of the city gets stronger with every passing day. Don't ask me why I decided to move to Calcutta in the first place. That's an entirely different story.
Well, how about getting rudely awakened by a bunch of hooligans who demand chanda?
Kali Puja is around the corner. For the uninitiated, Kali Puja takes place around the same time as Diwali (in fact, this year the two coincide), and is bigger than Diwali for Bengalis. People from “clubs” that organize pujas go around collecting money from residents of the neighborhood to fund the puja. ‘Extorting’ money would be a more appropriate term because that’s what they do! They demand money from you rather than requesting, and threaten you if you don’t acquiesce. They can make your life hell if you refuse to give them money and sometimes even beat people up!
I hate giving chanda. I am not a religious person and I hate people imposing their religious beliefs on me. By all means, organize pujas if it makes you happy but don’t force me to take part in it, either in person or by contributing towards it financially or in any other form. If I respect your sentiments and am willing to put up with the nuisance you create by blocking roads leading to horrible traffic snarls & playing music at the loudest volume till 2 in the night, you too need to respect my sentiments & leave me the hell alone!
The worst thing about these people is that they won’t graciously accept what you give them. The people who came to my place demanded 1200 rupees. After haggling with them for approx. 20 minutes, they settled for 500. This is utter nonsense. Even complaining to the police is of no help. So, one has no option but to give in to their unrealistic demands. I feel victimized. Honestly, I don’t like Calcutta one bit and my dislike of the city gets stronger with every passing day. Don't ask me why I decided to move to Calcutta in the first place. That's an entirely different story.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Have a Happy Period
Have you seen the Whisper commercial that says “Have a happy period”?
I mean, come on people, are you guys delusional??
I am yet to meet a menstruating woman who is having a “happy period”. Have you ever seen a woman jump up & down in excitement or sing joyously when she’s menstruating? Instead, what women do is fight with their boyfriends/husbands over something which is totally someone else’s fault, or pick fights if there’s no issue to fight over, blame the constant fighting in the Middle East for the pimples on their faces, cry for no reason at all or if they’re craving a brownie or a cheesecake and there's no one to get it for them, and bite the heads off anyone who tries to talk to them.
If someone asks them how they’re doing, they say, “Why don’t you just sod off?”
Seriously, you can’t be happy if you’re feeling bloated like a gas balloon that is about to explode, your breasts are swollen & sore, you’re having an acne attack, there’s a holy river flowing out of your body, you’re having such bad cramps that it seems someone is trying to pull your uterus out of your bloody body, you can’t lie down on your back and have to sleep on your side throughout the night, you feel depressed for no reason at all, and you can feel the hormonal forces surging through your body like a tornado, waiting to gush out & annihilate anything that comes in its wake. All you want to do is lie curled up in some corner of your house & pray fervently that no one asks you to get up from there. And there’s a foreign object in between your legs continuously for five-six days that doesn’t give you any pleasure at all and is therefore, not welcome.
Surely, the manufacturers of sanitary napkins have done a lot of consumer research. They know what their consumers have to go through during “that time of the month”. If they don't, let me tell them - you want to reach inside your body and yank out your uterus!! And during that time if you see a commercial that says “Have a happy period”, what does it make you feel like doing? It makes you want to yank out the testicles of the person who came up with that line (assuming he’s a man) & barbecue them. If it’s a woman you just want to bitch-slap her for betraying her kind.
A more appropriate tag line could have been: “Your boyfriend has done nothing wrong, please don’t yell at him”. Or “Mom loves you & has called to make sure you’re alright, not to chew your brains out”. Or “Manslaughter will get you life imprisonment”.
And don’t even get me started on the advertisements for sanitary napkins. They always show a PYT dressed in the tightest & whitest of pants, playing Frisbee, riding a bicycle, jumping up & down or skipping rope – suggesting that menstruation doesn’t put a stop to your life in any way at all. And there are flowers all over the screen implying that never mind the wet, sticky feeling down there, you always feel fresh as a flower. Both of these couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I mean, for heaven’s sake, there must be a more honest way to sell sanitary napkins?
I mean, come on people, are you guys delusional??
I am yet to meet a menstruating woman who is having a “happy period”. Have you ever seen a woman jump up & down in excitement or sing joyously when she’s menstruating? Instead, what women do is fight with their boyfriends/husbands over something which is totally someone else’s fault, or pick fights if there’s no issue to fight over, blame the constant fighting in the Middle East for the pimples on their faces, cry for no reason at all or if they’re craving a brownie or a cheesecake and there's no one to get it for them, and bite the heads off anyone who tries to talk to them.
If someone asks them how they’re doing, they say, “Why don’t you just sod off?”
Seriously, you can’t be happy if you’re feeling bloated like a gas balloon that is about to explode, your breasts are swollen & sore, you’re having an acne attack, there’s a holy river flowing out of your body, you’re having such bad cramps that it seems someone is trying to pull your uterus out of your bloody body, you can’t lie down on your back and have to sleep on your side throughout the night, you feel depressed for no reason at all, and you can feel the hormonal forces surging through your body like a tornado, waiting to gush out & annihilate anything that comes in its wake. All you want to do is lie curled up in some corner of your house & pray fervently that no one asks you to get up from there. And there’s a foreign object in between your legs continuously for five-six days that doesn’t give you any pleasure at all and is therefore, not welcome.
Surely, the manufacturers of sanitary napkins have done a lot of consumer research. They know what their consumers have to go through during “that time of the month”. If they don't, let me tell them - you want to reach inside your body and yank out your uterus!! And during that time if you see a commercial that says “Have a happy period”, what does it make you feel like doing? It makes you want to yank out the testicles of the person who came up with that line (assuming he’s a man) & barbecue them. If it’s a woman you just want to bitch-slap her for betraying her kind.
A more appropriate tag line could have been: “Your boyfriend has done nothing wrong, please don’t yell at him”. Or “Mom loves you & has called to make sure you’re alright, not to chew your brains out”. Or “Manslaughter will get you life imprisonment”.
And don’t even get me started on the advertisements for sanitary napkins. They always show a PYT dressed in the tightest & whitest of pants, playing Frisbee, riding a bicycle, jumping up & down or skipping rope – suggesting that menstruation doesn’t put a stop to your life in any way at all. And there are flowers all over the screen implying that never mind the wet, sticky feeling down there, you always feel fresh as a flower. Both of these couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I mean, for heaven’s sake, there must be a more honest way to sell sanitary napkins?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The One Thing I'm Not Destined To Do...
...is to cook. And I say that with my hand on my heart.
I'm a miserable cook. I can NEVER EVER boil milk without spilling it. When I make rice, it either sticks to the bottom of the pan & gets burnt, or gets wet & sticky. Rotis? I can make them round but they turn out to be partly burnt & partly half-baked.
With Durga Puja going on, the entire city is in a celebratory mood. The smell of kosha mangsho (mutton cooked Bengali style) & luchis (Bengali puris) had been wafting through my windows, seducing my olfactory senses since morning, like a cruel joke. To make things worse, my cook didn't turn up today. Oh, the horror, the horror!!
I figured if I have to cook, I might as well make a feast out of it. I really wanted some nice mutton curry & pulao, but it seemed too much of an effort, and I didn't really have the patience to stand in endless queues to buy mutton (not that I know how to buy mutton, but I was willing to learn), so I settled for the next best thing Bongs love to eat - luchi & alur dom. Well, in case you're wondering, I'm not Bong but if it's Durga Puja and you're in Calcutta, you've got to celebrate it Bong style!
I figured I might as well go the whole hog and decide to make payesh, or kheer as it's more popularly known.
I burnt the grated onion-ginger-garlic paste that forms the base of the alur dom. The potatoes themselves were half-cooked in parts, the luchis were partially burnt, and the kheer? Oh, don't even get me started on the kheer! I burnt it. Charred, to be precise.
I started with the proportion of milk : rice my mom had instructed me to use, but the milk seemed too much for the rice. So, I added some more rice to it, and then some more. As the kheer was cooking, I realized how important it is to follow what mom tells you...the rice was eventually too much for the milk, and since I had added them in three batches, they were different degrees of 'cooked'! And the bottom layer was charred! So much for preparing a feast.
Really, for folks like me who can't cook, the smartest thing to do is to simply hire a cook and leave the feast up to her. Your families will thank you for it, trust me. And in case the cook doesn't turn up, just order in!
I'm a miserable cook. I can NEVER EVER boil milk without spilling it. When I make rice, it either sticks to the bottom of the pan & gets burnt, or gets wet & sticky. Rotis? I can make them round but they turn out to be partly burnt & partly half-baked.
With Durga Puja going on, the entire city is in a celebratory mood. The smell of kosha mangsho (mutton cooked Bengali style) & luchis (Bengali puris) had been wafting through my windows, seducing my olfactory senses since morning, like a cruel joke. To make things worse, my cook didn't turn up today. Oh, the horror, the horror!!
I figured if I have to cook, I might as well make a feast out of it. I really wanted some nice mutton curry & pulao, but it seemed too much of an effort, and I didn't really have the patience to stand in endless queues to buy mutton (not that I know how to buy mutton, but I was willing to learn), so I settled for the next best thing Bongs love to eat - luchi & alur dom. Well, in case you're wondering, I'm not Bong but if it's Durga Puja and you're in Calcutta, you've got to celebrate it Bong style!
I figured I might as well go the whole hog and decide to make payesh, or kheer as it's more popularly known.
I burnt the grated onion-ginger-garlic paste that forms the base of the alur dom. The potatoes themselves were half-cooked in parts, the luchis were partially burnt, and the kheer? Oh, don't even get me started on the kheer! I burnt it. Charred, to be precise.
I started with the proportion of milk : rice my mom had instructed me to use, but the milk seemed too much for the rice. So, I added some more rice to it, and then some more. As the kheer was cooking, I realized how important it is to follow what mom tells you...the rice was eventually too much for the milk, and since I had added them in three batches, they were different degrees of 'cooked'! And the bottom layer was charred! So much for preparing a feast.
Really, for folks like me who can't cook, the smartest thing to do is to simply hire a cook and leave the feast up to her. Your families will thank you for it, trust me. And in case the cook doesn't turn up, just order in!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Hail Allegra
The weather in Calcutta right now is playing havoc with my upper respiratory tract.
I developed an upper respiratory allergy about two years ago thanks to ‘big city living’. Bombay gave it to me as a gift when it could’ve gifted me much better things...such as a sea-facing apartment on Bandra Bandstand! I’d never have deserted you in that case Mumbai, you know that right? :)
Apart from the fact that I could be closer to my family (I hail from the cow belt), I moved to Calcutta so I could have a better quality of life...shorter commutes, better work-life balance, a nicer home for a lower rent, no need to depend on local trains more than I would depend on a doctor when I was dying, and a break from my allergies.
Ironically, my work-life balance has gone to the most rabid dogs after moving to Calcutta, my allergy has become much worse & ever-present, and I’ve started getting symptoms I’d never experienced before...breathing trouble, itchy watery eyes, perpetually congested nose, even sinus pain!
My allergy gets aggravated when it’s cold…and hot…and humid. In short, there is never a time of the year when I’m not scratching my eyes or sneezing or blowing out my nose (gross, I know, but better you read about it than having to go through it yourself every day). Thank God for anti-histamines!
But wait a second, anti-histamines are a tricky business. They can get seriously addictive and can themselves trigger an allergic reaction, like nausea & giddiness, as they did in me!
Determined to find a permanent solution to my allergy problem, I decided to visit an allergy specialist – who spent the first ten minutes of our 20 minute consultation extolling himself & his state-of-the-art allergy testing laboratory, the next 20 seconds listening to my symptoms, the following 10 seconds examining me, the next 1 minute writing down allergy tests worth 4 grand & a truck load of medicines he wanted me to take continuously for the next six months, another minute telling me to stay away from pollution, fumes/smoke of any kind, pollen, dust particles outside & inside my home, on my curtains, bed spread, pillow, couch (I forgot to ask him how I'm supposed to manage that), and the remaining 8 minutes convincing me to do all 4k worth of tests on the same day at his grand laboratory – or at least 3k worth if I didn’t have all the dough on me at that moment! Was he a doctor or a (dying to name the community) businessman??? I’m still trying to figure that one out!
I raced out of his cabin faster than I’d walked in with my runny nose, itchy eyes & wheezing lungs, and ran straight to my physician (darling, he is) who told me there was no need to get so many tests done and sent me frolicking home with 3 tablets of Allegra & a nose drop for the next 3 days. May the God of anti-histamines bless your fish-loving Bong soul, Dr N!
The tests? I thought medical science had made technological advancements of monstrous proportions and gone were the days when tests used to be fussy, laborious & time-taking. Apparently not. The test the 'crazy allergy doctor' wanted me to do entailed several days of sitting in his self-proclaimed world-class laboratory where he would inject 207 known allergens into my arm!!! Inject, not spray, mind you. Errrrrr…were his brains out of his Jockey-french-cut -underwear-wearing mind to even think I’d agree to subjecting myself to such torture???
I mean, seriously…207 times??? I’d rather menstruate for 207 days at a stretch! Or maybe not.
Maybe I should turn to homeopathy though I hail from a family of non-believers (read doctors). It did work on my recurring throat infection after all. At least ‘crazy allergy doctor’ gave me the diagnosis.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Damn the Kids
Let me say this unequivocally – I hate Indian kids being brought up in America. I have seen enough of them in my family & in families known to us to come to this conclusion.
Two of my cousins – one 8, the other 10 – are visiting from the US. My aunt (their mother) decided to spend a day with my sister & me and got them along. The kids are obnoxious! They would want coke & chips in the middle of nowhere and would throw a tantrum till they got it! They made a mess of my house…walked all over the place with dirty shoes. They were about to jump on my bed with their shoes on when I shrieked!! They dropped coke & pasta all over my house, dropped food on my laptop, and this morning I found tassels pulled out of my rug!!
The funny thing is that American kids are not so ill-behaved. They’re taught to behave themselves in front of other people, but Indians abroad tend to spoil their kids. They feel guilty about not being able to spend enough time with their kids as they’re working – something that wouldn’t have happened in India. The concept of letting kids grow with nannies or at a crèche is still relatively new in India. Kids are left with their grandparents if moms are working.
Or they feel that if they’re able to afford things for their kids that their parents couldn’t for them, why shouldn’t they let their kids have those things? They don’t realize how irreparably they’re spoiling their kids.
It’s so important to bring your kids up right. The way you raise them will ultimately reflect in the kind of human beings they turn out to be. That’s a huge responsibility. When they grow up, the things they do will not only impact their lives but also those of others they come in contact with & society as a whole. Strangely, people never think of it like that. They want to have kids just for the heck of it…just because that’s the thing to do, a natural progression after marriage.
As far as I am concerned, I think kids stop being cute by the time they’re 4-5 years old, and turn into a menace. A pain. I don’t think I want kids, insensitive as that may sound. No, I’m pretty sure I don’t.
P.S.: I loved it when Alan from 'The Hangover' went..."I'm not allowed within 200 ft. of a school...or Chuck E. Cheese"
Two of my cousins – one 8, the other 10 – are visiting from the US. My aunt (their mother) decided to spend a day with my sister & me and got them along. The kids are obnoxious! They would want coke & chips in the middle of nowhere and would throw a tantrum till they got it! They made a mess of my house…walked all over the place with dirty shoes. They were about to jump on my bed with their shoes on when I shrieked!! They dropped coke & pasta all over my house, dropped food on my laptop, and this morning I found tassels pulled out of my rug!!
The funny thing is that American kids are not so ill-behaved. They’re taught to behave themselves in front of other people, but Indians abroad tend to spoil their kids. They feel guilty about not being able to spend enough time with their kids as they’re working – something that wouldn’t have happened in India. The concept of letting kids grow with nannies or at a crèche is still relatively new in India. Kids are left with their grandparents if moms are working.
Or they feel that if they’re able to afford things for their kids that their parents couldn’t for them, why shouldn’t they let their kids have those things? They don’t realize how irreparably they’re spoiling their kids.
It’s so important to bring your kids up right. The way you raise them will ultimately reflect in the kind of human beings they turn out to be. That’s a huge responsibility. When they grow up, the things they do will not only impact their lives but also those of others they come in contact with & society as a whole. Strangely, people never think of it like that. They want to have kids just for the heck of it…just because that’s the thing to do, a natural progression after marriage.
As far as I am concerned, I think kids stop being cute by the time they’re 4-5 years old, and turn into a menace. A pain. I don’t think I want kids, insensitive as that may sound. No, I’m pretty sure I don’t.
P.S.: I loved it when Alan from 'The Hangover' went..."I'm not allowed within 200 ft. of a school...or Chuck E. Cheese"
Monday, May 18, 2009
Stumbling
There’s this thing that happens with me that I truly hate myself for. I usually stumble out of cars.
Strangely, it doesn’t happen when I’m getting out of my parents' car when it wouldn’t really matter whether I make a graceful exit or not. It happens only when I'm getting out of a friend's/acquaintance's car and I want to make a graceful exit. It’s absolutely horrifying!!
I would either be carrying a million bags & it would be raining…which means I have to get the umbrella to open and get out with the bags while holding the umbrella in one hand…or my shoe will get stuck in some part of the car and I will just about manage to stumble out, gracefulness can go to the dogs. And I hate it.
Does it happen with you too?
Strangely, it doesn’t happen when I’m getting out of my parents' car when it wouldn’t really matter whether I make a graceful exit or not. It happens only when I'm getting out of a friend's/acquaintance's car and I want to make a graceful exit. It’s absolutely horrifying!!
I would either be carrying a million bags & it would be raining…which means I have to get the umbrella to open and get out with the bags while holding the umbrella in one hand…or my shoe will get stuck in some part of the car and I will just about manage to stumble out, gracefulness can go to the dogs. And I hate it.
Does it happen with you too?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
A Taste of Italy
Cooking is NOT fun! Even if it is for your most favorite people. It is tiring, exhausting and tests your patience to the limit. Painful it is. Kind of like preparing you for motherhood.
I called a couple of friends over for dinner last night. The menu was Italian, served with red wine ofcourse. How la-di-dah are we? ;)
Personally I would've preferred fresh lime water/soda with the food but red wine with Italian food sounds more classy & mature. So here's what I made....
Italian Sausages with Peppers (or Capsicum as known in India)
Ingredients: Sausages (cooked is better, else will need to cook them = that much more time spent cooking!), peppers of all colors - green, red, yellow, onions (thinly sliced), minced garlic, olive oil, salt & pepper to taste, Italian herbs - basil, oregano, thyme, parsley, can add a dried red chilly for effect
Cooking Time: God only knows!
Procedure: Shove onions, garlic, dried red chillies (broken into tiny bits) into the olive oil & cook till onions are golden brown. You can't burn them, which is why it takes patience :) Once brown, throw in the peppers along with the salt (reduces the cooking time for the peppers), put the lid on & cook till peppers are slightly tender but not mushy. Add sausages, salt, pepper, Italian herbs, put the lid on again & let cook till the sausages release their juices. Take off the flame, garnish with some fresh chopped parsley & serve.
Cooking Hater's Tip: Use cooked sausages, will save you atleast 20-25 mins of cooking time!
Pasta with Chicken & Mushrooms in Tomato Cream Sauce
Ingredients: Tomato Pasta Sauce (Ragu is your friend), pressed garlic, olive oil, salt & pepper to taste, Italian herbs - basil, oregano, thyme, parsley (dried), fresh cream, Parmesan cheese, cooked chicken (boiled & sauteed), mushrooms
Cooking Time: Long
Cooking Procedure: Boil & sautee chicken. Put aside. Boil pasta in salted water. Drain & put aside. In a frying pan, put olive oil. Add pressed garlic & cook till it turns brown. Put tomato pasta sauce, fresh cream, mushrooms, salt & pepper. Simmer on low heat for about 20 mins, till the mushrooms are cooked & the sauce thick & less tangy than before. Add pasta, sauteed chicken, herbs. Garnish with Parmesan cheese & serve.
Cooking Hater's Tip: Pasta can never be healthy, unless you make wheat pasta salad in olive oil (minus the mayonnaise), so just suck it up!
The results I must say weren't bad at all, except my pasta turned out to be slightly more dry than I would've liked it to. But hey, if you know how to lock the moisture in, more power to you! It took me two & a half hours to put the meal together. Maybe I was ovulating or there were some crazy secretions in my head that I had this mad urge to cook such painstaking dishes!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Battle Rages On
I’m obsessed with my weight. Probably because I’ve always had trouble with it, partly due to genetics and partly because of lifestyle choices. Like most of us, I largely lead a sedentary lifestyle. I live in a city where it’s too muggy to walk even short distances, my office is on the 10th floor (you don’t expect me to climb 10 flights of stairs everyday, do you??), my house is on the 1st and I have a job that requires me to sit infront of a computer for at least 8 hours a day.
The only form of exercise I get is when I go to the gym or am strong-willed enough to wake up early in the morning (6.30!!) & go for a walk. You can imagine how frequently THAT must be happening! There's a huge lake which is a 5 minute walk from my house & is apparently a magnet for morning walkers & joggers. Someday I'm determined to see what it looks like!
To make matters worse, I’m a foodie – as in I don’t eat a lot but I love non-vegetarian food, love chocolates, love bread / pizza / pasta, love Chinese food, and love to eat out in general. Thin people don’t love all these things - unless they’re genetically blessed that is. They love sprouts, salads, carrots, cucumbers etc.
I’ve tried various means of losing weight....going to the gym, swimming, aerobics, low carb diets & more recently, signing up with a dietician!!
Now, I’m convinced dieticians are one of the most ‘out-of-touch-with-reality’ people on this planet. The kind of diets they prescribe are unpractical & cumbersome. Sample this:
7.30am – Cereal (50gm) + Milk (250 ml)
8.30am – Tea + 2 Biscuits (non-cream sad plain biscuits)
10.30am – Fruits (Do's : Apples, Oranges, Papaya, Pears, Watermelon; Don’ts: Bananas, Mangoes – basically everything good)
12.30-1pm – 2 Rotis (100 gm) + Dal + Vegetable + Chicken/Fish (100gm)
3.30pm – Yogurt + Carrots / Cucumber / Sprouts
5.30pm – Tea + 2 Biscuits (non-cream sad plain biscuits again :(
7.30-8pm – 1 Roti + Chicken/Fish (100gm)
There are many practical problems with this diet (And to think I paid this woman shitloads of money to come up with this crap!!):
A) It involves cooking of dal, vegetables AND chicken/fish everyday, and assuming I need to carry them to work, all have to be cooked before 9.30 in the morning
B) I need to remember to eat every two hours & once work gets going, DO WE EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO PEE, forget taking out our cute little Tupperware & start eating?
C) Anyone will get bored eating the same food over & over again. Normal people need to eat out at least a couple of times a week, and eating out does NOT mean eating salads, soup & grilled chicken/fish. It means eating pizza or pasta or Chinese food or Butter Chicken or KFC or Subway (with Parmesan Oregano bread, mayo & their delicious sauces)
D) You can't measure cereal, flour, chicken & fish every time you have to cook them
E) What if I feel hungry after 8pm?
You see why I think dieticians have completely lost it in life?
I think a more practical way is to eat the way French women do! Do you know why French Women Don’t Get Fat? France is considered to be the gastronomic capital of the world, yet their women are thin! It’s because they eat everything but in small proportions & voila! You will be thin.
The things on my imminent weight-loss agenda – kickboxing, power yoga & aqua aerobics. Oh, how I love the water!!
P.S.: I am hydrophobic.
The only form of exercise I get is when I go to the gym or am strong-willed enough to wake up early in the morning (6.30!!) & go for a walk. You can imagine how frequently THAT must be happening! There's a huge lake which is a 5 minute walk from my house & is apparently a magnet for morning walkers & joggers. Someday I'm determined to see what it looks like!
To make matters worse, I’m a foodie – as in I don’t eat a lot but I love non-vegetarian food, love chocolates, love bread / pizza / pasta, love Chinese food, and love to eat out in general. Thin people don’t love all these things - unless they’re genetically blessed that is. They love sprouts, salads, carrots, cucumbers etc.
I’ve tried various means of losing weight....going to the gym, swimming, aerobics, low carb diets & more recently, signing up with a dietician!!
Now, I’m convinced dieticians are one of the most ‘out-of-touch-with-reality’ people on this planet. The kind of diets they prescribe are unpractical & cumbersome. Sample this:
7.30am – Cereal (50gm) + Milk (250 ml)
8.30am – Tea + 2 Biscuits (non-cream sad plain biscuits)
10.30am – Fruits (Do's : Apples, Oranges, Papaya, Pears, Watermelon; Don’ts: Bananas, Mangoes – basically everything good)
12.30-1pm – 2 Rotis (100 gm) + Dal + Vegetable + Chicken/Fish (100gm)
3.30pm – Yogurt + Carrots / Cucumber / Sprouts
5.30pm – Tea + 2 Biscuits (non-cream sad plain biscuits again :(
7.30-8pm – 1 Roti + Chicken/Fish (100gm)
There are many practical problems with this diet (And to think I paid this woman shitloads of money to come up with this crap!!):
A) It involves cooking of dal, vegetables AND chicken/fish everyday, and assuming I need to carry them to work, all have to be cooked before 9.30 in the morning
B) I need to remember to eat every two hours & once work gets going, DO WE EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO PEE, forget taking out our cute little Tupperware & start eating?
C) Anyone will get bored eating the same food over & over again. Normal people need to eat out at least a couple of times a week, and eating out does NOT mean eating salads, soup & grilled chicken/fish. It means eating pizza or pasta or Chinese food or Butter Chicken or KFC or Subway (with Parmesan Oregano bread, mayo & their delicious sauces)
D) You can't measure cereal, flour, chicken & fish every time you have to cook them
E) What if I feel hungry after 8pm?
You see why I think dieticians have completely lost it in life?
I think a more practical way is to eat the way French women do! Do you know why French Women Don’t Get Fat? France is considered to be the gastronomic capital of the world, yet their women are thin! It’s because they eat everything but in small proportions & voila! You will be thin.
The things on my imminent weight-loss agenda – kickboxing, power yoga & aqua aerobics. Oh, how I love the water!!
P.S.: I am hydrophobic.
Update : Just read a column in the paper where a girl has written in to a fitness expert saying she's too thin and would like to gain some weight on her butt & thighs b/c irrespective of the size of jeans she buys, they're always lose on her! Oh well....guess as long as there will be women, they will have issues with their bodies :)
Update 2 : This is my 250th post on this blog alone!! Have a happy long weekend people! Happy Easter!!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Is It The Flu?
How does one tell the difference between Flu & viral fever? Or are they the same thing?
I've been down with fever, head ache, terrible body ache & a runny-itchy nose since Wednesday night. The fever comes and goes. I'll feel fit as a fiddle for a couple of hours and start feeling sick again. It's most annoying.
I'm bored out of my freakin' mind staying home. Can't read / surf the net / watch TV for too long...start feeling tired & sick after a bit.
Is this the time of year for catching the flu / viral fever?
I've been down with fever, head ache, terrible body ache & a runny-itchy nose since Wednesday night. The fever comes and goes. I'll feel fit as a fiddle for a couple of hours and start feeling sick again. It's most annoying.
I'm bored out of my freakin' mind staying home. Can't read / surf the net / watch TV for too long...start feeling tired & sick after a bit.
Is this the time of year for catching the flu / viral fever?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Twilights
Twilight is my least favorite time of the day. I hate twilights more than I hate early mornings. Always have.
With twilight sets in depression. It's that time of the day which is neither here nor there...neither light nor dark. It's very unsettling and gloomy. I never know what to do with myself if I'm at home during twilight. I can only get depressed and wait for it to get over...for it to be completely dark.
I remember chewing my mom's brains every day during twilights when I was in school. I used to crib crib crib about getting bored and not knowing what to do, and my mom would be tearing her hair out in frustration!
I have to be either completely shut out from twilight (inside a mall or theater or at work) or outdoors but so busy I don't notice it! Christ, life is tough! :)
What about you? How twilight-friendly are you?
With twilight sets in depression. It's that time of the day which is neither here nor there...neither light nor dark. It's very unsettling and gloomy. I never know what to do with myself if I'm at home during twilight. I can only get depressed and wait for it to get over...for it to be completely dark.
I remember chewing my mom's brains every day during twilights when I was in school. I used to crib crib crib about getting bored and not knowing what to do, and my mom would be tearing her hair out in frustration!
I have to be either completely shut out from twilight (inside a mall or theater or at work) or outdoors but so busy I don't notice it! Christ, life is tough! :)
What about you? How twilight-friendly are you?
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