Twilight

Today is a working day for me thanks to the Bandh called by the Congress yesterday because one of their MLAs got beaten up by supporters of the Communist party.

I really believe there is a reason, apart from its historical dominance by the Communist party and the policies of the State government, why Kolkata lags behind other metros in terms of development & growth, and that has to do with the attitude of the people in this city. Since I don’t offend people on weekends, I will abstain from elaborating on this further ;)

After all, every city has its pros & cons, and Kolkata is no exception.

Since it’s a Saturday I’m obviously not getting any work done. So I thought of making the day somewhat productive and writing about the book I have just finished reading – 'Twilight'.

'Twilight' is the first book of the Twilight Saga (consisting of a series of 4 books) by Stephenie Meyer. I was dead against reading the book at first – it was about teenage romance & a vampire!!

Teenage romance, for God’s sake!!

Moonshine was pretty insistent I read the book and then I saw people (women) all around me at work reading the book. Needless to say they were all gushing about it and that got my curiosity peaking. I bought the book, thinking I probably won’t be buying the series.

When I started reading the book I couldn’t believe myself…I was like, “Oh great, I’m reading a book on high school romance & vampires!! Why did I let people convince me into this again??”

I’ve never read a romance novel in my life, vampires are not my idea of people to spend my free time with, and ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ was not my favorite TV show. But whadyaknow – 2 days into the book I was so hooked, I went back and bought the entire series!!

I’ve already drooled all over my computer screen and this blog about Edward Cullen (see post below), the hero of the book who is also a vampire, so let me not extol his gorgeousness even further, and get started about the book.

The book is about a girl (Bella) who moves to a tiny wet, dreary town outside Seattle where everyone knows everyone else. She meets and falls in love with a vampire (Edward). Now that doesn’t happen too often, does it? But there’s a small problem there…vampires drink blood and there are six other vampires in Edward's family. The rest of the story is about the dangers Bella faces because she’s in love with a vampire.

I think I’m sounding like I’m making fun of the book. It’s hard not to if you think about it rationally. But I loved the book!!

It’s very well written though the story is childish, cheesy, corny…it IS a high-school romance after all, with a healthy dose of flipping hearts, knotting stomachs, sexual tension etc. And oh, vampires. Lots of them.

The author is American, and her language reflects that – it’s flowy and easy to read. And she’ll keep you turning pages without wanting to put the book down. I was so addicted to the book, I was reading it even during lunch breaks at work!!

A warning though : this book is NOT meant for men.

I just got my hands on the movie and I can’t tell you how badly I’m dying to watch it! So that’s the POA for tonite – watch a cheesy movie about high-school kids in love and vampires. The only problem is that A wants to watch it with me. He thinks I’ve completely lost it because I’ve been walking around in a daze (it’s the Edward Cullen effect I assure you, I’m sure I’ll snap out of it sooner or later) and can’t stop talking about how gorgeous and charming the vampire is!

I’m trying to talk him out of it but he’s simply not relenting. This is a movie I need to watch alone or with a girlfriend….definitely not with a boy! He is never going to get the movie!

Besides, I’d like to watch it with someone who would think it’s perfectly normal to squeal and drool all over the place over a hot guy. A guy is never going to get that either.

Edward Cullen

SO…I am in love with Edward Cullen. He is the sort of guy that will give any teenage girl jelly knees. I long ceased to be a teenager but I’m in love with him nevertheless.

He’s taken me back to the time when we had full-throttle lustful crushes in school. Not the "first love", mind you – that was always "pure & innocent". I’m talking about crushes where even the slightest physical contact with the person could get your blood rushing to your head, make your stomach flip with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, and make the hair on the back of your hand stand (assuming you didn’t wax at that age, of course).

Edward has honey-gold eyes and a smile that kills, is drop dead gorgeous, graceful, lithe, muscular, powerful, dazzling! He is sex-on-toast!

Sadly, he is also a vampire that doesn’t exist except in the imagination of Stephenie Meyer. Sigh!

Moonshine, I’m going to kill you for this.

PS: The character of Edward Cullen in the movie version of the book was essayed by the very British Robert Pattison. For the uninitiated, this is the same guy who played Cedric Diggory in Happy Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Delicious, isn't he? ;-)

Needless to say I’m dying to read the rest of the series and get my hands on the movie.

PPS: To those (men reading this I guess) who don't really "dig" hot men, I'm sorry for being such a girl :)

Soul Food

Now for a fun post!

What’s your 'soul food'?

You know the food that comforts you when you’re stressed out or depressed or generally feeling out of sorts? The food you crave the most. The food, after eating which, you feel your world will set itself right back again?

Mine is Chinese food! I love it so much I can eat it day after day, everyday, and not tire of it!

What’s yours?

A Life. A Choice.

They’re all around me. They stare me in the face wherever I go - married women who have changed the way they are to fit into the families they have married into.

I’m not referring to minor adjustments such as sharing the bathroom with the spouse, reaching a compromise on the temperature of the air-conditioner, learning to fall asleep with the TV on etc. It’s the changes that women make to their identities that are the most discomforting.

I know I have been writing about this a lot of late but it's all around me and it bugs me no end.

One thing I feel very strongly about is changing one’s last name after marriage. I am very sure I’m not going to be doing it, even if that means not marrying the person in question. It is non-negotiable. My name is an indispensable part of who I am; has been for as long as I’ve lived. Why should I be expected to change it just because I got married to someone? My identity is more important to me than a man - ANY man.

The other thing I cannot do is cook everyday. A friend of mine is about to get married to her boyfriend of four years, who told her that if she’s not willing to cook everyday he’ll have to re-consider marrying her!

I’m sorry but if the guy is used to having his mom cook for him everyday, that’s his problem - not mine. The personal decision that his mom took does not apply to me by default.

Surprisingly, my friend is okay with it though she doesn't know how to cook and has never cooked at her parent's house!

Women make numerous sacrifices to keep their in-laws happy. There are certain types of clothes they give up wearing after marriage (such as shorts, skirts, capris, sometimes even jeans!) because their in-laws aren’t okay with it.

I can’t ever take that kind of an intrusion into my personal life from anyone, including my husband. Being asked not to wear the kind of clothes I presently wear is unfathomable! I think I will simply turn around and ask the person to mind their own business, irrespective of who they are!

Without hesitation.

The life of a married woman starts getting dictated by the schedules and whims of her in-laws. This is particularly true for women who live with their in-laws. They can’t go out with friends whenever they want to. There are things they can & cannot do; places they can & cannot go to – because their in-laws tell them so.

I’ve always been so fiercely independent that such a thing is completely unacceptable to me.

The other thing I don’t understand is how women are okay with husbands who do not support them if there’s a tiff with the in-laws.

The men come up with this very convenient excuse of not wanting to take sides or be in a position where they have to choose between their parents and their wife.

Excuse me? You’re the one who has married me and brought me into your family, so you bloody well support me!

Yet another thing that a married woman is expected to do is to always put her husband’s parents before her own. In fact, it is not even an expectation; rather an assumption that the guy’s family makes.

I can never see myself putting my husband’s parents before my own. And why should I? I don’t see the guy returning the favor. I will give his parents all the respect that they deserve, help them out whenever I can but I can never neglect or be unfair to my parents.

If there’s one thing I’m sure of in life, it is that I am not going to compromise myself for anything or anyone in this world.

I’m not a hopeless romantic. I’m not deluded regarding life. I know enough couples to know that it doesn’t take very long after marriage (a couple of years at most) for the rose-tinted love glasses to come off and then you’re left to deal with reality. And reality is what you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life.

You’ll be left to live with a person you cares for you, values you, respects what you are, gives you the space you need, stands up for you when you need him to – or not. And I don’t want to be standing on the wrong side of the fence, even if that means not getting married for another 5 years.

That’s not very good news for my parents, is it? :)

I just upped the ante God knows how many times...but that’s okay. They'll live!

Some people might say these things are easier said than done. Surely they are but I’m also sure I have the courage to stick by them, because at the end of the day if we don’t stand up for ourselves, no one else will.

I might have come across very strongly in this post but that is just how strongly I feel about this issue. Neither am I apologetic about it to any man or woman who might get offended by it. If you're a man and offended by this post, I can understand. If you’re a woman and offended by it, you're probably trapped in this situation yourself, or see yourself in such a situation in the future. Either way, deal with it.

For those who feel the way I do, thank you :)

We get only one shot at life afterall.

The Hungry Tide

'The Hungry Tide' is the story of two young people - a Delhi based businessman and a female cetologist (a biologist who studies marine mammals such as dolphins etc.) - who visit the Sunderbans for personal and professional reasons respectively, and how their lives become intertwined with those of a poor, illiterate fisherman and his ambitious wife.

There is a parallel story running throughout the book, of an idealist & a revolutionary who gave up his life for the idea of revolution, or possibly for love, you may argue.

I was never too keen on reading Amitav Ghosh for the simple reason that the synopsis of his books printed on the back cover never enticed me into buying the books. After reading ‘The Hungry Tide’ I am convinced that he is a seriously over-rated writer.

Well, to be fair to him the book isn’t all that bad. It just failed to interest me. It’s not a page turner either.

The only reason I persisted with it is because I’ve been to the ‘tide country’ and therefore, I could imagine the settings. Someone who hasn’t been to the Sunderbans, and does not know what the mangroves, rivers/creeks & villages there look like may not be able to enjoy the book at all.

Amitav Ghosh’s style of writing is very conventional and staid, for me at least. He writes well but there is nothing exciting about his style of writing.

'The Hungry Tide' is an old book so I’m sure many of you would have read it already. As for me, I don’t regret not having picked up ‘The Sea of Poppies’.

The Devil Does Wear Prada

This appeared in The Telegraph today. While watching 'The Devil Wears Prada' I thought Anna Wintour, the Editor of Vogue, was the inspiration behind Miranda Priestley's character, and turns out my suspicion was true! Pretty entertaining article this...read on!

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Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham, or Posh, has apparently undergone a breast reduction surgery to be on the cover of Vogue, after its editor Anna Wintour told her to do so. Wintour is said to have told Posh to get rid of the “footballer’s wife” image and lose those ridiculous implants before the cover happened.

I felt sorry for poor Posh. To be called all these names and asked to just change after her long career as a superceleb. But what choice did Posh have with someone like Anna Wintour? Vogue is almost like God — The New York Times once said: “Vogue is to our era what the idea of God was, in Voltaire’s famous parlance, to his: if it didn’t exist, we would have to invent it.” If the magazine is like God, its editor is no less than an oracle.

For those who are OK with her, working with her is “like belonging to a church”. Only human beings who are very big institutions, I think, can be compared to buildings.

Wintour is also called “Nuclear Wintour”. She meets the head designer at Yves Saint Laurent and raises her eyebrows at his collection; the man becomes jelly and heads for a rethink. She makes Prada “re-interpret” some of their designs. Without once having to take off her trademark giant dark sunglasses, or that immobile expression framed by the bobbed hair that descends like a steel curtain. They have been like that for years.

Wintour does not influence fashion, they say. Nor is she above fashion. She is fashion. And yes, she likes fur.

There are also rumours that she sacks underlings in the elevator — what happens to their remains is not so well-documented. That if she takes off those glasses, they will reveal two red spinning fireballs in the place of eyes. That she is Antichrist, only surrounded by her cronies disguised as fashionistas who feed on smoke, decaf and salad without dressing.

There are rumours that she is truly evil. That she is The Devil. She was the inspiration behind the boss from hell, Miranda Priestly, in The Devil Wears Prada. (Some who know her say that Priestly, played by Meryl Streep, was positively cuddly compared to the original.)

So either Anna Wintour is a church, or she belongs to the Other Side. But whatever she is, she is The Boss. And if such a person asks you to drop your silicone — to do anything — what can you do? You obey.

Yet the episode left me disturbed. That night, when I went to bed, some questions troubled my weary head.

What did Wintour exactly tell Posh? “Posh, get rid of the footballer’s wife image — and lose those ridiculous implants before the cover happens” — but did not add “please”?

If Wintour could say this to Posh, what would she say to Pamela Anderson, and Rakhi Sawant? (And what would she say to Rakhi Sawant in bridal finery?)

So I dreamt of Anna Wintour.

I dreamt that I was meeting her with a request to be on a Vogue cover.

She was standing in her office, against her desk. I had a vague feeling that I wanted to be wearing a Chanel suit, Jimmy Choo shoes, Cartier sunglasses and YSL perfume and clutching a Louis Vuitton purse in her presence, because she wanted me to be wearing a Chanel suit, Jimmy Choo shoes, Cartier sunglasses and YSL perfume and clutching a Louis Vuitton purse in her presence. But I was not wearing anything of that sort. I was, I think, wearing my school uniform.
I wanted to make amends. “I can slice off my jaws. I can knock off my nose and get a new one installed.” She kept looking at me.

“I can trim all my chins,” I said. “I can stop smiling. I can dye my eyelashes.”

I wanted her to speak.

“I can sell my soul,” I cried.

“Scrape it off the floor,” Anna Wintour told one of her assistants as she walked over me, squashing me with her stilettos. “But you can keep the fur.”

I think I know how Posh felt. Or what happens to the remains of underlings, maybe in other offices too. But in my dream I turned into a bit of fluffy pink chiffon and flew away.

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For those who're curious, THIS is Anna Wintour. No less a diva herself!

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In a way, I feel bad for David Beckham.

What would it feel like being married to a woman who is so obsessed with being in the spotlight that she turns anorexic, starves herself to death to maintain a size zero body, won't give up heels even though her feet are full or corns that have to be surgically removed, and will get her breast implants removed just to be on the cover of a fashion magazine, once (though there is a good chance she got those implants in the first place just so she would photograph well)!!

It must be a pretty crazy life!!

Are You a Good Swimmer?

My friends have been going swimming at a nearby pool and they keep pestering me to accompany them. I would love to except there is a tiny bit of a problem - though I know how to swim, I am hydrophobic!

I found this out when I was learning how to swim. Let me tell you the story of how I learnt to swim…

It so happened that the University I went to had this bizarre rule that students could not graduate unless they passed a swim test!!

This applied to all students without exception (including Michael Jordan & Antawn Jamison who were given their graduation certificates only after they successfully passed the swim test). I did not know how to swim then so I had to enroll in a swimming class. The class took place on Tuesdays & Thursdays from 9.30-10.45 am and I used to dread them!

I was miserable at coordinating my breathing with my movements. I think I was the second worst student in class. I would start feeling uneasy just being in the water (not necessarily in the deep end), and I would huff & puff my way through it.

I remember the day we were learning how to dive, my instructor stood patiently behind me for 45 minutes after the class got over, urging me to take the plunge. She refused to let me go until I dove. After much coercion from her, I did. I belly-plopped and she sent me promptly back to do it again, over & over till I got it right!

And then came the day of the swim test. We had to dive into the deep end, swim two laps and stay afloat in the deep end for 5 minutes.

I haven’t been swimming very often after that. I desperately want to get rid of my hydrophobia but being in the water takes too much out of me. I know this is going to be one of the biggest regrets of my life. I’m so envious of people who glide through the water with elegance & squeaky clean movements. And when I see A, who started learning to swim just a couple of months ago, swim like a fish, I feel like jumping right in. Only if I could.....

How about you? Are you a fearless swimmer? Is there anything else you wish you could do but you can't, for whatever reason?

Go Watch It!

If you haven’t already that is.

I’m talking about ‘The Hangover’ – the low profile, low budget (?) movie that has taken theatres the world over by storm based mainly on word-of-mouth publicity, much like ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ did 7 years ago!

If I have ever seen a funny movie, 'The Hangover' has gotta be it. The movie is crazily hilarious! It’s about four guys - one of whom is getting married - who spend a crazy night in Vegas to celebrate a bachelor’s party. When they wake up the next morning, they have no recollection of anything that happened last night. They wake up to a room wrecked beyond recognition, a tiger in their bathroom & a baby in their cupboard! And they have lost their friend who is about to get married in a few hours!

They need to find their friend ASAP but with no recollection of what happened the night before, that is just a little bit difficult. They are left with no choice but to retrace their steps. Their journey back into time includes bizarre revelations about each of them, strippers, drug dealers, the Chinese mafia, the works!

The movie is insane. There are a few loopholes – things that are left unexplained – but you don’t question them b/c your sides are aching laughing. It’s a movie you can see over & over again and laugh just as hard every time. It’s Hollywood at its low-brow best but when they do it, they do it so much better than we do!

And oh, may I add that Bradley Cooper is H-O-T. In a very blue-eyed-white-American-boy way but he is smokin’ hot. And Zack Galifianakis (Alan in the movie) – he is fatal.

It's Her Call

I’ve read numerous interviews by career women where they have said that they are "ambitious but not ruthlessly ambitious". It’s like they’re almost apologetic about being driven, successful career women. I don’t remember reading an interview by a man ever where he’s apologetic about his ambitiousness or success.

According to me, this is completely a result of gender stereotypes and the different set of expectations society has from men & women.

A man is expected to do well for himself professionally & financially, at all cost. It doesn’t matter that he is a negligent husband or a barely-there father. As long as he’s climbing the corporate ladder steadily, he is an exemplar. A woman, on the other hand, is expected to be a model mother, wife & daughter-in-law first and a career-woman later.

Why do these gender stereotypes still exist? Why do women still have to say sorry to their families & the society as a whole if they wish to be successful professionally?

Our country has become mature enough to understand that there is no point criminalizing consensual sex between two adults of the same sex, but we haven’t yet been able to break ourselves free of age-old gender stereotypes!

If a career is more important for a woman than her home, that is her prerogative. At the same time, if a woman gives up her career – fully or partly – in order to invest more time in her home & family, that too should be solely her decision. No one should question it.

How The Mighty Fall

The media can’t stop digging skeletons out of Michael Jackson’s cupboard. There are contradicting reports of MJ being healthy & emaciated at the time of his death. While some media reports claim he was a picture of health (contrary to rumors about his continuously deteriorating health) others report that he was all skin & bones when he died, and during the autopsy all that was found in his stomach was a bunch of half dissolved pills!!

They’ve been writing about how his nose had started rotting and collapsing thanks to 13 plastic surgeries he got done in his face.

They’ve been talking about his delusions regarding his financial status, and that even though he was penniless he kept borrowing to finance his high-maintenance lifestyle and quirks.

They’re saying how he had been dressing and dancing the same way all his life, implying that he never learnt to move on in life, completely ignoring the fact that the way he dressed and danced WERE what made him Michael Jackson!

They’re saying all this even as his music flies off shelves at music stores around the world. Yes, he was the craziest person alive. But he was also a musical genius, a phenomenon, an inspiration to countless number of people, and he lived by his own rules.

How many celebrities have the courage to follow through with their desire to go from 'being a black man to a white woman', without caring about society or that doing such a thing might affect their popularity? How many Christians would willingly convert to Islam in an age where the religion is getting increasingly associated with terrorism?

The man is dead & gone. In death, if not in life, can’t we just leave him alone?