Can I start by saying that Salman Khan is THE Dude?
Well, I just did.
No other actor can get away with the inanity that he does, even though he can't "act" to save his life. But I still like him. I like him because he doesn't give a damn about what people think/say about him, and goes on doing what he wants to do. That takes courage in an industry where image is everything and people pay a good amount of money to project the right image.
Anyway, on to the movie. Lovely Singh is a bodyguard who gives "guarantee along with warranty" and treats "royalty with loyalty", or some shit like that. He's assigned to protect the daughter of a very powerful man living in an obscure little town somewhere between Mumbai and Pune (don't ask questions), who faces a threat to her life from some of her dad's enemies. The girl is embarassed to be escorted by a bodyguard to college everyday (she studies Management at Symbiosis apparently), and so to get rid of him she starts distracting him by giving him blank calls from a 'private number' and claiming to be some Chhaya who is in love with him.
She does fall in love with him in due course, while he sees her as someone way beyond his league. Two hours of cat and mouse games between them and a couple of attempts on the girl's life later, the villains are dead, the father thinks the bodyguard is trying to elope with his daughter, and there's a twist in the story.
Like all of Salman Khan's movies these days, this movie too is full TP. A continuation of Dabangg if you will. Salman Khan is in his element (mujhpe ek ehsaan karna, ki mujhpe koi ehsaan na karna is priceless!), the villians come across looking like jokers, and the only person who appears to be acting is Kareena Kapoor (within the limitations of her role). The music by Himesh Reshammiya is forgettable. BUT there is actually a story in the movie! Hallelujah!
I heard some people in the theater cribbing about how they should've trusted the review that gave the movie 2.5 stars and stayed away. Like dude, who goes to watch a Salman Khan movie based on reviews?!! You KNOW what a Salman Khan movie is going to be like. People who watch his movies don't read the reviews. You've missed the whole point, mate.
Anyway, while we're on the topic of people who go to watch movies in theaters...why are Indian kids the most misbehaved of the lot? They'll be the ones throwing tantrums, wailing, running helter skelter, and being a nuisance to everybody in the theater. And their stupid parents, instead of disciplining them, will look at them adoringly as if they're doing something worthy of winning the Nobel Prize. Seriously, you'll never find non-Indian kids behaving so atrociously in public.
And then the mothers, to get rid of the kid, will send him/her to say hi to some random "aunty" or "uncle" in the theater. Whenever such kids come towards me at theaters or restaurants, I just glare at them because all I want to do is give them one tight slap and send them crying back home, and then glare at his/her parents too. Seriously, when will Indians learn not to be a nuisance to others?