Thursday, June 26, 2008

The truth about thongs

Thongs are butt floss.

- As told to me by a friend

Conversations with a girl friend....part 3

Me: How’s Z?

She: He’s good. He went to a country style bar tonight. Apparently, all the women were wearing only bras so I’m guessing he had a good time.

Me: Lol..atleast they were wearing bras. So he couldn’t have had as good a time as he COULD have had!!

(After I said something that could’ve come across as offensive)

Me: Really that’s not what I meant.

She: I didn’t take offense!

Me: I didn’t mean offense! Where you’ll take it from?

She: Hahahaha…..I can take. What’s there? Should I show you?


She: NO NO. I already took it! The damage is done!

Me: This is so insane! What a conversation we’re having!! This deserves to be on someone’s blog!!!

Conversations with a girl friend...Part 2


She: I’ve taken a tablet to delay the thing & I’m feeling all psychosomatic about it.

Me: Lol..that happens. And when you finally get them, they’ll be baaaaaaaad. It will unleash with all it’s fury, the woman will surrender & the uterus will reign supreme!

She: Thank you.

Me: I’m just telling you so you’re prepared.

She: Poor me.

Me: What else is new, my-sister-from-another-mother? Actually, that doesn’t sound half as cool as brotha-from-anotha-motha but it’ll do!

She: (Tries to send a smiley but it’s wrong) Oops…wong smiley!

Me: You’re becoming Chinese. Instead of wrong you say ‘wong’

Me: I’m sick of waiting for my boss, therefore the non-sensical jokes.

She: I’m going mad too.

Me: Why?

She: Just like that. Randomly.

Me: It’s the uterus.

She: I think so too.

Conversations with a girlfriend

Me: I was supposed to go for lunch to this place called Sikkim House with these two guys from work, but they're nowhere to be seen!!

She: haha…get the hint

Me: I mean, really! They invited me!! @@@@

She: Okay, I’m not judging you..but errrr…ummmm….without you? Damn, flash them!!

Me : I'm sure they're making out in some corner

She: Hahahaha. No one ever makes out without me

Me: Well apparently no ones making out w/ me either. They’re making out with each other!!

She: That sucks dude. You’re not giving them reason enough. Tsk Tsk.

She: Aite, now I’m going for lunch…with people who want to eat with me. You’ll find someone I’m sure.

Me: I'm falling off my chair

She: I love you anyway. U can lean on me. I’ll be your rock. I’ll be the one you can depend on. When honour’s at stake, this vow I will make.

She: Okay now I’m really going. Bye.

Me: Go now, otherwise they’ll also ditch you & start making out among themselves!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My war against potatoes

Bengalis love potatoes. This is the one absolute truth of their lives. There are Bongs who don’t like fish, there are Bongs who don’t like rice but you will never find a Bong who doesn’t like potatoes!!

As if potatoes were the ultimate delicacy in the world.

They eat potatoes as is & also put them in everything they cook….with every green vegetable, in chicken, mutton, fish, dal, biryani….EVERYTHING.

My office canteen had three kinds of potato dishes for lunch today. There were potatoes…potatoes…and more potatoes. And non-potato lovers like me were left looking around in amazement & (mild) disgust.

There are so many other nice vegetables & animals in this world that are available for human consumption, how about wandering outside the world of potatoes & exploring a little bit? Wanderlust is a good thing!

PS: I apologize to the Bongs reading this but they only serve potatoes & fish for lunch & I do not like either. Hmpfff.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The war of the celebrity bloggers

I've been reading Amitabh Bachchan's blog and Amir Khan's blog for a while now & I like the latter more.

Amitabh Bachchan's posts are irritatingly diplomatic & politically correct, and I'm sick of reading him defend his moron of a daughter-in-law! Fond as I am of Amitabh Bachchan as an actor, I can't help but feel that he's not being honest in his blogs. Simply because someone who is honest can't be so goodness-personified all the time. All of us have our frailties. Honestly, I got bored reading Big B's blog.

Amir Khan's blog however is more interesting to read. His posts are less frequent but you can connect more with them. They make for a refreshing read.

The 'Other' Blog

So...I have started another blog. Encouraged by all you lovely people (people I know and don't know) who've been reading my blogs and commenting on them, I decided to start a theme based blog.

I've always had an opinion on social & political issues. I wanted to express them and get to know the opinions of others as well. I wanted to keep this particular blog mostly random & funny, so I decided to start a new blog. It can be accessed at

So please do read & feel free to share your opinion with me. Without getting nasty that is :)

Don't you just feel like picking him up & taking him home!

Everyday I want to fly stay by my side
Everyday I want to dream stay by my side
Every morning I wish I could just play
Wish the mornings would just stay...

Monday, June 23, 2008

The march of the Armadas

I thought Spain deserved to win last night because they played very well. It’s not easy to hold the Italians goal-less for 120 minutes!

I love penalty shoot-outs. Not only because they keep you on the edge of your seat but also because they show the true class of a player.

In a match that does not end up in a penalty shoot-out, the team that is better on that particular day, wins. However, penalty shoot-outs can swing either way! It’s not about the team, it’s about individual players. Faced with a world-class goal keeper, a player has a 50-50 chance of scoring the penalty.

Penalty shoot-outs are also the test of a player’s nerves, mental fortitude & intelligence – qualities that Cesc Fabregas seems to posses in abundance. The Arsenal mid-fielder is the new talent to watch out for on the Spanish team. He took the last penalty shot, which he was under pressure to score in order to eliminate Italy from the competition (or the Italians could have leveled the shoot-out as well). All of 21 years old & faced with a goal-keeper of the caliber of Gigi Buffon, he was resolute & swift, and with a kick sent the ball flying right past Buffon & sent his team into the semi-finals!

I think Gigi Buffon is a rockstar!! Had he not saved Adrian Mutu’s penalty in Italy’s last league match against Romania, Italy would not have made it to the quarter-finals. It was a brilliant save but Casillas was just better than Buffon yesterday.

So…a win well-deserved by Spain. They play Russia in the semis. I haven’t seen any of Russia’s games but I’ve heard they’re good. Especially Asharvin. Should be a match worth watching.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

My fortune for today

Orkut has this feature called 'Today's Fortune' on the profile page of its members. My fortune for today says 'You will have some new clothes'!!!

I don't know why but I found it to be hilarious!

I "had some new clothes" yesterday, so they should've probably called it 'Your Fortune for Yesterday'. And I paid for the clothes myself, so no reason to be excited about "having some new clothes". LOL :)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Portugal vs Deutschland

Portugal take on Germany in the quarterfinals of the Euro Cup today. Am looking forward to the game, Portugal being one of my favorite teams in the tournament & Germany have always been a respected team in world football. So what we’ll have on our plates for a midnight snack tonight is Portugal’s skill vs. Germany’s mechanical precision.

Like with every other thing German, German football too is known for its precision. Not really known for their creativity (unlike, say, Brazil), the Germans plan and execute with precision. They have some good strikers in the form of Podolski & Klose who, ironically, are both Poles by birth who play for Germany. They also have a world-class midfielder in Michael Ballack. However, unfortunately Ballack has always been part of a team that has made it to the advanced stages of international tournaments, only to miss out on the championship trophy. The 2006 World Cup where a Ballack-led Germany got eliminated at the semi-final stage & the EPL 2008 final against Man U being cases in point.

Portugal on the other hand have dexterous players such as Deco, Cristiano Ronaldo, Caravalho, Nuno Gomes & Ricardo Quaresma. With the retirement of Luis Figo & a few other players after the 2006 World Cup, the Portugal team has a new & fresher look. I think Deco is one of the most underrated mid-fielders in world football. He is skilled, determined & indefatigable on field. He can single-handedly elevate the quality of the game through his brilliant assists. And of course there’s the unsuppressable Cristiano! His 42 goals in the EPL was one of the main reasons Man U won the EPL.

Tonight’s game should be an exciting one. I wish it started earlier but what the hell….tomorrow’s Friday!!

Monday, June 16, 2008

My lovely Sunday afternoon

After a very long time I had an all-girl Sunday afternoon.

My sister, my twenty-two year old cousin & I met up for lunch. After stuffing our faces with delicious Chinese food at Mainland China, we headed over to Inox to watch ‘Sex & The City’. Now this is just the movie to watch with your gang of girls. The movie hasn’t been getting rave reviews but I think all those reviews are written by men. Unlike most other “chick-flicks” that have a drop dead gorgeous male lead & are mostly about HIM, this movie is about a bunch of girlfriends & all the crap they have to go through in life, courtesy indecisive, flippant men!

So yeah, you got that right. Men can’t be expected to be a big fan of the movie, and hence the reviews.

We found the movie to be quite funny though.

After the movie, we did what a bunch of girls would be expected to do. We shopped!!

Bags, shoes, clothes, earrings, lip gloss….we bought it all. And in the midst of it all, we even managed to call our dad, wished him a Happy Father’s Day & asked for our gifts. The logic was simple - he is a dad because of us, so he owes us gifts!

Surprisingly, we got us a deal. The next time dad’s in town, he’s taking us shopping!!

Shopping done, we headed over to a coffee shop, and while we sipped on hot chocolate & gorged on a chocolate mud slice, it was pouring outside. We were lucky enough to have a table by the window, and trust me, it’s one of the most heavenly feelings in this world to be sitting inside, all dry & warm with a cup of hot chocolate in one’s hands, and watch it rain outside!

A sumptuous Chinese lunch, a funny “chick-flick”, shopping (YAYYY!!), hot chocolate, watching it rain & the company of your sisters you adore…it can’t get better than that on a Sunday afternoon!

Missed you, Sum. You were the fourth one missing. Wish you were part of the fun!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The two most delicious men of Italian Football!!

Yumm's the word ;)

And of course, Le Dieu (The God) of Football

You get 3 guesses on who my rockstar is :)

And look what I found...

Only the Italians are capable of something as cheesy...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Haircuts : Men vs Women

Women's version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.


Men's version:

Man2: Haircut?

Man1: Yeah.

Because...I'm worth it!

I love haircuts! They are fun and they can transform you into a completely different person. Not to mention you get to look like a diva for AN ENTIRE DAY thanks to all the expensive hair products the stylist infuses into your hair. Until you hit the sack at night & and wake up the next morning with your hair looking as flat as flat noodles. But the big bucs we pay for haircuts is totally worth one day of looking gorgeous :)

I love being experimental with my hair. Not with the stylist but with hairstyles. I don't understand why people are so petrified of experimenting with haircuts. Sure, there are chances that one in five haircuts you get might not be the best for your face but you would have discovered four other styles that look good on you. I feel life gets monotonous when you look the same for years. Besides, you don't just blindly go for any hair style. You instinctively know whether a particular hairstyle will look good on you & you have the professional help of a stylist available. All one needs is to get out of one's comfort zone & not be so afraid of change. It's just hair for Chrissake, it will grow back!

So I urge all the gorgeous women in the world to let go of their hang ups & get the most radical, stylish haircut you possibly can! You'll love how different you look.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Le Jeu Francais

Ana Ivanovic beat Dinara Safina and went on to displace Maria Sharapova from the World No.1 female tennis player slot.

Ana grew up in war-torn Serbia. During the NATO bombings of 1999, she could only train in the mornings to avoid the bombings. She would train in an abandoned swimming pool during the winters as there were no other facilities available. Like many people who find opportunity in diversity instead of quoting hardships as the reason for their failures in life, she overcame all obstacles to emerge as one of the top women tennis players of the world. Such is the stuff that champions are made of!

I personally like Ivanovic’s game a lot. She’s an offensive player, and she’s a strong baseliner. Her shots are deep and clean. She's got really powerful two-handed backhand & forehand shots.

In the men’s final, Rafa literally annihilated Roger Federer in a straight set 6-1, 6-3, 6-0 win. I love Roger (don’t we all) – he glides through the court, he’s unarguably the most elegant player on the men’s circuit right now, he can play a variety of shots with equal panache. His game flows, he makes it look so easy! However, last night saw a different Roger all together. After losing two successive sets, he completely gave up. Nadal breezed through the third set and Federer surrendered without even a hint of a fight. Felt bad for Roger as I have never seen him give up like he did yesterday.

By instinct, Federer doesn’t play a baseline game – something that’s required on a clay court and that Nadal does so well! Clay courts are slower than grass & hard courts, therefore one needs to play shots from the baseline. Federer, however, instinctively rushes inside the court, a strategy that’s best suited to grass courts. I feel that’s the reason he has trouble taming Nadal on clay. Nadal has a very strong baseline game. If I had to name my other favorite men’s tennis player apart from Federer, it would have to be Nadal. I admire him for his sheer stamina and athleticism. He forces his opponents to make errors. Many people feel he’s bull-headed but he’s got determination to win, and that helps him come back from behind in a match that could be slipping out of his hands & win it.

Friday, June 6, 2008

These are a few of my favorite things

There are very few things in life that can beat the joy of an unexpected day off work (or school when we were younger). Imagine waking up on a weekday morning, knowing that you don’t have to go to work. Even the thought makes one happy!

The past two days have been bandhs in Kolkata. There’s a complete shut down in the city. All commercial establishments are closed. There are no cabs, or any other form of public transport, on the streets. All one can do is sleep, watch movies, read, watch it rain with a cup of steaming ginger tea & pakoras in hand. Such breaks are always welcome.

I remember when we were in school we used to pray for “rainy days”. Days when it would pour in the mornings. One couldn’t get out on the streets without getting drenched. Umbrellas would be of no use. Mom or dad would call the school every half an hour to check if they’d declared it a “rainy day” yet, so we could stay home, go out & play in the rain, play Scrabble, Monopoly, Life Game, Scotland Yard, Battleship, Pictionary etc. Who cared whether the syllabus would get completed on time or not. That was the teachers’ problem, not ours!

I’ve been at home the past two days enjoying my days off & the rain. Hoping for a couple of “rainy days” this monsoon! Amen.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Poetic justice

I’ve been accused of writing way too much about cricket over the past couple of months. It’s become fashionable to denounce cricket as a game that hogs the limelight, not to mention the big bucs, from all other types of sports in India.

I say we’re Indians & we’ve grown up watching the game, playing it & being a part of it in some way or the other. So it’s natural we would love it. With the T20 format revolutionizing the game forever, and the IPL heralding a new era in global (not only Indian) cricket, why should we not enjoy every part of it?

Isn’t the situation the similar in Europe & South America, with respect to soccer?

Sunday night witnessed a fitting finale to the past one-and-a-half months of madness & excitement. It was a match to the last ball. In fact those of us watching the game had half prepared ourselves for the possibility of a bowl-out, which would’ve been the only thing to beat the nail-biting finish the match had. And I am so glad the Rajasthan Royals won. They were literally the team that came from nowhere, and yanked the rug from under everyone’s feet!

The team had no credentials to begin with - little known players such as Swapnil Asnodkar, Ravindra Jadeja & Neeraj Patel, a captain who doubled up as coach, also a captain who has been mired in quite a few controversies of his own, no celebrity owners to turn up the glamour quotient during the matches, thus ensuring more eyeballs, no publicity, no hype, no encouragement in the form of hugs & kisses. They had zilch going for them, except the experience of players like Warne & Graeme Smith – that other teams also had in copious amounts.

I think what worked for the Rajasthan Royals was having a captain & coach rolled into one.

The flip side of this could be that there’s only one point of view in the team, and no one to challenge it or debate its efficacy. But I feel having a single point of view going around in the team helped the Royals’ case, especially since most of their players were young & inexperienced. People who are inexperienced are in a highly malleable state & need a single guiding light in terms of whose advice they should follow.

Shane Warne’s philosophy was so simple, yet so effective. When asked what the secret to his team’s success was during one of the post-match conferences, he replied "One of our slogans is 'find a way and play your role'. Be the man, be the hero and express yourself. I think at the end of the day it all comes down to belief."

We would all agree this is a sound philosophy to have in every competition. A player (in any kind of competition) must find a way to accomplish his goals. After all, that is what he is playing for! And for the success of the team as a whole, each player must play his role, whatever be it, to the fullest.

It is also imperative to come out good when your team needs you to, and perform when you’re really required to perform (if only Sourav Ganguly had taken this big little advice from Warne instead of taking pot-shots at him after getting embroiled in an on-field controversy, the fate of the Knight Riders might have been a little bit different!).

Simply put, you can’t play a heroic knock when you’re “playing for pride” (usually, by then you have no pride left); you’ve got to do it when you’re playing a game that decides your future in the competition.

I hadn’t spent much time forming an opinion about Shane Warne over the years that he’s been playing for Australia, but he’s made me wonder (as I’m sure he’s made a lot of other people do) what an effective captain he could’ve been for Australia. I wouldn’t call him astute or shrewd (those words describe Mahendra Singh Dhoni better). For me, Shane Warne is an intelligent captain (or he wouldn’t have been able to lead such a young, inexperienced & under-rated side to victory) but the anti-thesis of Mahendra Singh Dhoni. He’s proved himself to be a man of class, a player who might have made the ACB (Australian Cricket Board) look at him differently in retrospect.

I did not see a single frown or a tense muscle on the faces of Neeraj Patel & Ravindra Jadeja (during the semi-finals against the Mumbai Indians) or Warne & Sohail Tanveer (during last night’s finals) even though both were very close matches. As they say, in cricket half the battle is won or lost in the mind. You need nerves of steel to handle such pressure cooker situations, and if you crack under the pressure, as Dilhara Fernando did during his last over in the semi-finals, you WILL get taken for a nice long ride.

Irrespective of the fortunes that franchise owners, sponsors & players have made from the tournament, it’s been cricket - and Indian cricket in particular - that has come out a winner!

We’ve unearthed mind-blowing talent such as Swapnil Asnodkar, Manpreet Gony, Abhishek Nayar, Ashok Dinda, Wridhiman Saha, Shikhar Dhawan, Ravindra Jadeja, Yo Mahesh (I just love his name, it’s more like Yo! Mahesh :) etc, who had it not been for the IPL, might never have come to the notice of the national selectors.

Yusuf Pathan, a vastly talented (clean, BIG hitter) but overshadowed (by his brother’s popularity) player got a call to the national one-day side thanks to his performance at the IPL.

The other victory for Indian cricket is that we had hugely successful & reputed players across various cricketing nations playing for our domestic teams. I mean, Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Chennai mean nothing to these players other than names of cities in a developing country, yet these cities got them to become part of a mammoth exercise to bring cricketing glory to them! It was the money talking, alright, but what’s amazing is that India was able to churn out that kind of money.

The IPL frenzy has left millions of people gasping for more. People are expected to suffer from serious withdrawal syndromes but I hope the hysteria generated by the IPL will compel the ICC to allot the tournament an official time in it’s annual calendar, so that players such as Ricky Ponting, Brendan McCullum, Stephen Fleming, Andrew Symonds etc. don’t have to abandon the tournament midway to attend to their national duties, thereby breaking millions of cricket-loving hearts in the process, and shattering a billion dreams.