Once upon a time I lived in a land far away where winters meant sub-zero temperatures, wind that was so chilly it would turn the tip of your nose red, snow, turtle neck tops, sweaters, jackets, woolen socks, caps & gloves!
Then I moved to a land much nearer home (a.k.a. Mumbai) where 20 degrees Celsius (approx. 70 F) was considered the thick of winter! The turtle necks, sweaters, jackets and the likes I had so lovingly bought in the land far away were permanently relegated to the dark recesses of the cupboard, only to be brought out for an airing once every November in the hope that temperatures would dip to a level that would justify putting them on without getting certified a freak of nature, and would promptly be sent back to the recesses they were pulled out of after the airing. To be brought out again next November.
Now I’m in a place where I can wear at least one of them at a time – turtle necks OR sweaters OR jackets. When I took them out for airing this past November, it struck me that they have suffered the ravages of time. They have faded & started looking really old. Not to mention most of them cannot accommodate a permanently expanding body anymore!
So, I went shopping for winter clothes with The Boy.
Mistake 1. Never go shopping with a boy when you’re having “weight management issues”. The clothes he will pick out for you will be incredibly sexy but you will not fit into any of them. They will make the tyres on your stomach look like the safety tube you wear around your waist when you’re leaning how to swim!! Not only will you end up miserable because you didn’t fit into any of the nice clothes around, the boy will never let you hear the end of it. He will poke and grab and pull every tyre around your waist till you are feeling positively shitty about yourself.
Mistake 2 – Don’t pretend you will fit into any sexy outfit the boy picks out for you and attempt to try it on in his presence. You will only end up embarrassed and imploring Mother Earth to open up and swallow you whole right then, given that The Boy’s girth is half that of yours and he fits into, AND looks amazing, in anything HE tries on!
Whether you end up dragging yourself to the gym later won't matter. Sensible boys can also be distracted easily ;-)
Cashmere Boyfriend Sweater - Gap, $98
Cashmere Shawl Popover - J. Crew, $129.99
Cowl Neck Sweater Dress - Banana Republic, $98
Puffed Vest - Gap, $49.99
Cropped Trenchcoat - Gap, $79.50
Mid-length Trench Coat - Gap, $88
Wool Trenchcoat - Banana Republic, $230