Thursday, December 10, 2009

I Need a New Winter Wardrobe

Let me explain why.

Once upon a time I lived in a land far away where winters meant sub-zero temperatures, wind that was so chilly it would turn the tip of your nose red, snow, turtle neck tops, sweaters, jackets, woolen socks, caps & gloves!

Then I moved to a land much nearer home (a.k.a. Mumbai) where 20 degrees Celsius (approx. 70 F) was considered the thick of winter! The turtle necks, sweaters, jackets and the likes I had so lovingly bought in the land far away were permanently relegated to the dark recesses of the cupboard, only to be brought out for an airing once every November in the hope that temperatures would dip to a level that would justify putting them on without getting certified a freak of nature, and would promptly be sent back to the recesses they were pulled out of after the airing. To be brought out again next November.

Now I’m in a place where I can wear at least one of them at a time – turtle necks OR sweaters OR jackets. When I took them out for airing this past November, it struck me that they have suffered the ravages of time. They have faded & started looking really old. Not to mention most of them cannot accommodate a permanently expanding body anymore!

So, I went shopping for winter clothes with The Boy.

Mistake 1. Never go shopping with a boy when you’re having “weight management issues”. The clothes he will pick out for you will be incredibly sexy but you will not fit into any of them. They will make the tyres on your stomach look like the safety tube you wear around your waist when you’re leaning how to swim!! Not only will you end up miserable because you didn’t fit into any of the nice clothes around, the boy will never let you hear the end of it. He will poke and grab and pull every tyre around your waist till you are feeling positively shitty about yourself.

Mistake 2 – Don’t pretend you will fit into any sexy outfit the boy picks out for you and attempt to try it on in his presence. You will only end up embarrassed and imploring Mother Earth to open up and swallow you whole right then, given that The Boy’s girth is half that of yours and he fits into, AND looks amazing, in anything HE tries on!

The most intelligent course of action in such a scenario would be to pretend you don’t like the sexy clothes he's picked out for you, and that your taste in clothes is much more evolved and sophisticated than THAT. And then suggest you go eat something instead since all that hunting around for clothes has left you famished. Boys are sensible creatures you know…they will never stop you from eating (within limits, of course) as long as you promise them you’ll take yourself to the nearest gym and pledge a lifetime of emptying out your wallet and Swiss bank accounts to get yourself tortured.

Whether you end up dragging yourself to the gym later won't matter. Sensible boys can also be distracted easily ;-)

Cashmere Boyfriend Sweater - Gap, $98

Cashmere Shawl Popover - J. Crew, $129.99

Cowl Neck Sweater Dress - Banana Republic, $98

Puffed Vest - Gap, $49.99

Cropped Trenchcoat - Gap, $79.50

Mid-length Trench Coat - Gap, $88

Wool Trenchcoat - Banana Republic, $230


Saltwater Blues said...

LOL where did you get that header image? :) GAP is wonderful. But I don't thik there's a GAP store anywher in India. They have these company outlets in the States where you get stuff very sasta ... and can turn even a non-shopper like me into a crazy person! No kidding. And their range for women is amazing ... in fact if I was a girl I'd want to live there!

Anyway, hope you are fine. Aishwarya.

Scarlett said...

@Saltwater Blues - GAP is one of my favorite stores. They have awesome stuff at reasonable prices. As a college student, I lived in GAP stuff. I also love the sister companies of GAP that are owned by the same group that owns GAP - Old Navy, Banana Republic, New York & Co., The Limited, Express etc.

The concept of company outlets is brilliant too! The stuff they stock is supposed to be defective but you can hardly spot the defects & you get them at great prices, so they're a steal!

The header image is from :) I am a Christmas girl through & through!!

The knife said...

ya the header pic is amazing. A friend just showed me the pics that she clicked off the terrace at candies. Full of Christmas trees apparently. I am consigned to the ground floor right now.

Boy, does the boy give strong messages. Hope he reads the blog given your flattering notes :)

Scarlett said...

@The Knife - I have Candies' pictures from last Christmas!! I was there around Christmas time last year. They deck their upper floors/terraces really nicely during Christmas. Hope you're well in time to go & explore them :)

The Boy doesn't read my blogs. He doesn't even Thank God for that! He has a vague idea I blog.

The knife said...

I do remember your saying that he doesn't.

Lot of things to work towards at my end:
1. Bandra Gym Christmas fest end of this week
2. Candies terrace...they have a huge sky garden which wasn't there last year
3. A party that I am planning at my place with a fellow blogger whom I don't know but K does on Christmas

Now you know why I get off from the car, limp us the Candies and throw my fists up at the door a la Rocky in training

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