Existential Angst

You know that feeling when you're dying to pour your heart out on your blog but you can't because you don't blog anonymously anymore? And your blog isn't read only by your friends but by an assortment of people? And you're now at an age where you start weighing the pros & cons of your actions and you don't let yourself get carried away.

I so miss being in my early 20s. When no problem meant the end of the world. When you were able to just get up, shrug, brush the dust off your hands and move on if things weren't working out the way you wanted them to.

Since I can't - rather won't - crib about certain things on this blog, I'll tell you what I need right now.

A gang of the most fun girlfriends!!!!

I so miss having a girl gang at times. I've mostly had guy friends right through college and my 20s, and while boys are crazy fun too they won't pull you out of an emotional crisis. Most of them at any rate. You can only crib so much to them before their eyes glaze over and they suggest you drown your sorrows in bottles of chilled piss, a.k.a. beer.

Girl friends are so much more fun. They 'understand' and they know just what works when the chips are down - a great shopping session buying things you don't need, watching chick flicks and gossipping! Ah, therapeutic!

My girl friends are scattered all over the globe now and most of them don't even know each other, so I really do miss having a "girl gang". And what I need right now is a week in Goa with my girls, lazing around on the beach in beach hats, oversized sunglasses and floral flip flops, and sipping on unlimited apple/strawberry martinis. With a game of paintball thrown in. Why should boys have all the fun?

*****

Life isn't all gloomy though. I just learnt that my new place of work has the most laidback dress code - jeans! Even for client meetings!! Without rips & holes though. I think I can live with that :-)

And the city I'm about to move to has the most glorious weather - 18-30 degrees (Celsius) in the summer and 5-20 degrees in the winter. I can live with that too! :D

And I've been reading a very funny book that The Knife gave me when I met him last. It's a book by Bill Bryson called 'Down Under' where he talks about all the things that can kill you in Australia. There are thousands apparently! But it also showcases the spirit, niceness and funness (?) of the Australian people. It's a travelogue but one of the funniest books I've read.

So yeah, life is good too...in bits & pieces. But why must it always be bittersweet?

I Want a Girl Gang!!

I was watching the first Sex & The City movie on HBO last night. Every time I watch the movie or a re-run of the show I can’t help feeling envious of the women. They make such an amazing girl gang!!

There’s a reason why SATC is so popular with women across the world. It appeals to women who have a close-knit group of girl friends, as well as to those who don’t but crave one. Not to mention that most women, irrespective of the culture they come from, can identify with at least one of the four central characters of the series - the romantic, shoe-obsessed fashionista Carrie who is trapped in a long term relationship with a man who just cannot make up his mind about what he wants from a relationship or whether he wants to be in one, in the first place; Charlotte, the family types who believes she has found her "true love"; Miranda, the workaholic who likes to be in control; and Samantha, the successful, independant woman who is boy crazy but values herself more than any man in her life.

Coming back to the topic of this post, there can be few things as wonderful & comforting, and as much fun as a girl gang! The women in SATC stand by each other, look out for each other and take care of each other. They always have someone to share every secret with, go shopping with, do lunch/dinner with...someone to call up with news...someone who'll tell them which dresses to keep & which to throw out...someone who’ll spend New Year’s eve with them if they’re alone and take them on a holiday if they’re feeling low.

I so so want a girl gang like that! A small group…me & maybe two other women. Is that too much to ask for?

Talking of women, they can be really strange at times. Most of my school friends/classmates are now married with at least 1-2 kids. Whenever one of them posts pictures of her kids online, the others come pouring in with compliments as to how cute the kid is etc. Makes you feel like you’re being rude by not joining the chorus! I don’t get what the big deal is…it’s just a kid! Everyone has kids. Motherhood does strange things to people.

There are some who’ll put up pictures of themselves with their husbands and everyone will start complimenting them on how cute they look together. I wonder if people really mean what they say, or they say it just b/c they feel it's the "right" thing to do. Again, I don’t get the big deal.

And then there are women who put up pictures of their pregnant belly online!! Ugh!!! No offence to women who are expecting a baby or are mothers already, but there's really nothing pleasant or pretty or cute about a pregnant woman's belly. On the contrary, it's one of the scariest things in the world to look at, and that is just my personal opinion. I'm not interested in how big your belly has become. I mean, I'm happy you're about to pop a kid soon - if that's what really floats your boat - but it doesn't float mine, so please spare me the torture and don't put up pictures of your 8th month belly on my Facebook page!!!

Shrek...Forever & Ever & Ever & Ever....

It’s got to be said - boys are fun but girl friends are mind blowing fun!

You can discuss the world with girl friends - from shoes to bags to clothes to the current hottest lip color to your ever expanding waistline to your love life to George Clooney & Brad Pitt to the dreamboat vegetarian vampire who can make any woman of any shape & size go week in the knees to other friends' girlfriends/boyfriends to the latest gossip - without them rolling their eyes or chiding you for indulging in gossip.

You can never discuss such things with boys without feeling like swatting them with whatever you can lay your hands on because they would either be rolling their eyes faster than a yoyo or worse still, gagging, totally disrespecting your need to honor the estrogen in your body. Lots of it if you're PMSing.

Over coffee on Friday evening, one of my girl friends & I made plans to spend Saturday together doing “girly stuff” which involved shopping (surprise!), movie & dinner.

We met up after lunch on Saturday and headed out to shop. I needed to buy a pair of sunglasses, she a pair of shoes for everyday wear that she wouldn’t mind ruining in the rains.

I ended up with: 2 pairs of sunglasses (one from Idee, a Guess house brand, and another from Van Heusen that criss cross in front like an elongated 8 and is a design I’ve been in loooooooooove with for the longest time), 2 party tops, 2 casual tops, 2 nude lip glosses from L’Oreal & Maybelline (I now have 3 nude lip glosses, someone please explain to me why!), an Aqua Blue shimmer eye pencil from Chambor, a Maybelline smoky eyes eye shadow, and a whole bunch of lingerie that you don't need to know the number or price of!

Well, lingerie is an investment, right? RIGHT?

Here’s what my friend bought: A pair of stilettos she didn’t need, a handbag she didn’t need, a perfume, two casual tops and a pair of jeans she wasn’t planning on buying! Of course, she couldn't find the one thing she needed to buy. Don't you know that always happens? Don't you?

See how much fun hanging out with girlfriends can be! Never mind it usually ends up burning a hole in your pocket. We look at it as an "investment", and we're not cribbing about our boyfriends most of the time that we spend shopping, so it's good for our relationship too!!

Armed with our shopping bags, we went to watch ‘Shrek Forever After’. The security at the multiplex obviously thought it would be too much trouble going through so many shopping bags (rare breed of sensible people working at the mall, I tell ya) and didn’t bother to frisk us. Did I tell you I loved the movie? Seriously, how could critics give it such bad reviews?

They either didn't understand the movie (I swear that's possible. A friend of mine thought the movie was about Shrek day dreaming!) or aren't Shrek fans to begin with!

The story goes something like this: Shrek is bored of the whole feeding-burping-the-baby-and-nappy-changing routine his life has become and yearns for the time when he was a “real” ogre that could scare villagers and that people were afraid of. Rumplestiltskin, the evil guy who wants to seize the kingdom of Far Far Away, tricks him into believing that he can give Shrek one such day again and makes him sign a contract. Shrek falls for the trick, only to realize that Rumple has sent him into a world where ogres are hunted, none of his real-life friends like Donkey & Puss-In-Boots know him, and where Fiona is not his wife but a warrior princess leading the rebellion of the ogres against Rumple. Shrek's only way out is to make Fiona fall in love with him and share a “true love's kiss” with him. And he has one night to do it! Unfortunately for him, she is completely focussed on her mission and does not entertain any distractions.

Isn’t this a cute story? It kept me engrossed and rooting for Shrek throughout.

The 3D factor doesn’t really add much to the movie experience but 'Shrek Forever After' is just as cute as the previous installments, has plenty of ‘awwwwww’ moments and is totally watchable, if only for the fact that this is the last of the adorable Shrek movies. And I'm a HUGE Shrek Fan (not in size, only in degree :)

Sunday was spent at home sifting through my previous day’s shopping, passing out repeatedly looking at the bills, undergoing a massive guilt trip for splurging on totally unnecessary things, watching ‘Love Actually’ for like the 100th time to get me over the depression resulting from the guilt, watching ‘Twilight’ on Star Movies just 'coz it's an overly gooey, trashy, chick flick that's sure to get your hormones in overdrive, devouring cheese & pepperoni pizza, and reading a thriller that I’m currently reading.

The highlight of my Sunday: I got the pizza absolutely free! Here’s how my conversation with the pizza guy went when I called them after an hour of ordering:

Time of calling: 10.30pm

Me: You guys are supposed to deliver in 30 mins right? It’s been 1 hour and my pizza is still not here. And your shop is 5 minutes from my house!
Pizza Guy: M'am, the delivery boy must have got caught in the traffic.
Me: At 10.30 in the night? In a residential area?
Pizza Guy: Uh…erm…m'am, it’s election day today!
Me: Please tell me which part of town people are voting in, at this time? You’re giving me the pizza for free.
Pizza Guy: No m'am, I can't.
Me: Excuse me? Your policy is 30 mins or free! Is it not? IS IT NOT?
Pizza Guy: Uh....okay m'am, we’ll settle it between the two of us.
Me: Oh, I’m not settling anything mister. It’s free or I complain to your headquarters.

And that’s how I got my free pizza!

And no, I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it because these are the same guys who had refused to deliver to my place once when I had called them 5 mins after the time of their last order, saying they won’t deliver because I’m not their regular customer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for customer service.

What about you? Did you like 'Shrek'? And how was your weekend?

When Was The Last Time You Got Fitted?

While women across the world were busy putting the color of their bra up as their status message on Facebook - ostensibly as a means of creating awareness about breast cancer - men had their own take on the game. Once they figured out what was going on that is. Some of the funniest comments from guys on Facebook were…

• How does it matter which color if it has to be taken off?
• You give me reasons to be ‘hooked’ on to Facebook
• Anyone even bothered about what color we prefer?
• Men are simple. Black or red does it every time!
• Men around the world must think they have won the lottery today
• I want proof!

But my favorite was this…

• No, no, it’s not too much information at all. Thank you for sharing.

This had me chuckling for quite some time.

Honestly though, I’m with the men on this one. I mean, putting the color of your bra on a public forum isn’t going to create awareness about breast cancer. Not by a long shot. It’s a silly game at best, sure to generate funny, crass or voyeuristic comments from men. So women, if you really want to spread breast cancer awareness talk to your mom, aunts & other women you know about doing a breast-self examination regularly and getting mammograms done on an annual basis (particularly women above 30 years of age). Or at least getting their breasts examined by their doctors/gynacs periodically to detect the presence of any suspicious lumps. THAT is how you would truly spread awareness about the disease.

Now, since we're talking about bras already, have you noticed how ill-fitted most Indian women are? They’re either wearing bras that are too big for them or ones that are too small and have their boobs spilling out (and no, I’m not referring to three-fourth coverage bras). Other common problems are wearing bras that offer no support and adjusting the straps so loose that their boobs sag.

Usually women are too lazy to go to a proper lingerie store (or the lingerie section of a departmental store) and try bras out before buying them. They don’t feel bras are worth investing money in. Then there are the cheap cotton bras that are available in small shops that generally don’t have trial rooms. Women usually just ask for their size and buy the bras without trying them, whereas the truth is that our bra size changes as our body changes (and our bodies are changing constantly!), so it’s important to try a bra out before buying it.

While I do understand that not everyone may be able to afford bras that cost 1000 bucs a piece (that’s generally what fancy branded bras cost), the fact is that bras are probably the single most important piece of clothing in a woman’s wardrobe. They give shape & definition to one’s body, and there’s no bigger turn-off than a woman in an ill-fitting bra. Besides, wearing the wrong bra can have a number of harmful effects on one’s body such as back problems, headaches, neck strain, rashes and even pulled ligaments! For these two reasons alone, a good fitting bra - one that’s the right size and offers good support - is worth investing in. There are also a number of lower cost options (in the range of 400-600 a piece) available at branded lingerie stores these days.

So women, GO GET FITTED!!

And to all the men reading this, sorry I forgot to warn you this was going to be a girly post :)

Photo Courtesy: adsoftheworld.com

Rich & Sexy

I want to be RICH and SEXY. I don’t want to be famous because I love my freedom to do the simple things in life, such as walking down the street, hanging out at coffee shops, walking into any store/restaurant without getting mobbed etc. way too much to give it up.

But I would LOVE to be rich so I can travel across the world without worrying about whether I have enough $$$ in my bank account, shop as much as I want to without having to worry about going broke, and live in the house of my dreams. In that order.

And I would love to be sexy so I can slip into any dress without having to worry about whether it would fit me, look smoldering in sexy lingerie, wear the sexiest cleavage revealing tops and the tiniest of skirts, and make heads swoon.

But as of now neither of these looks like it’s happening, so I’ll just sit quietly & plan that mind-blowing trip to Europe that may or may not happen someday, and dig into my hot gooey chocolate walnut brownie.

Shit, I won’t be able to gorge on brownies when I become sexy, right? And I'll have to live on water & sprouts inspite of having all the money in the world. Kinda like movie stars?

Life is such a bitch.

Photo courtesy www.polyvore.com

I Need a New Winter Wardrobe

Let me explain why.

Once upon a time I lived in a land far away where winters meant sub-zero temperatures, wind that was so chilly it would turn the tip of your nose red, snow, turtle neck tops, sweaters, jackets, woolen socks, caps & gloves!

Then I moved to a land much nearer home (a.k.a. Mumbai) where 20 degrees Celsius (approx. 70 F) was considered the thick of winter! The turtle necks, sweaters, jackets and the likes I had so lovingly bought in the land far away were permanently relegated to the dark recesses of the cupboard, only to be brought out for an airing once every November in the hope that temperatures would dip to a level that would justify putting them on without getting certified a freak of nature, and would promptly be sent back to the recesses they were pulled out of after the airing. To be brought out again next November.

Now I’m in a place where I can wear at least one of them at a time – turtle necks OR sweaters OR jackets. When I took them out for airing this past November, it struck me that they have suffered the ravages of time. They have faded & started looking really old. Not to mention most of them cannot accommodate a permanently expanding body anymore!

So, I went shopping for winter clothes with The Boy.

Mistake 1. Never go shopping with a boy when you’re having “weight management issues”. The clothes he will pick out for you will be incredibly sexy but you will not fit into any of them. They will make the tyres on your stomach look like the safety tube you wear around your waist when you’re leaning how to swim!! Not only will you end up miserable because you didn’t fit into any of the nice clothes around, the boy will never let you hear the end of it. He will poke and grab and pull every tyre around your waist till you are feeling positively shitty about yourself.

Mistake 2 – Don’t pretend you will fit into any sexy outfit the boy picks out for you and attempt to try it on in his presence. You will only end up embarrassed and imploring Mother Earth to open up and swallow you whole right then, given that The Boy’s girth is half that of yours and he fits into, AND looks amazing, in anything HE tries on!

The most intelligent course of action in such a scenario would be to pretend you don’t like the sexy clothes he's picked out for you, and that your taste in clothes is much more evolved and sophisticated than THAT. And then suggest you go eat something instead since all that hunting around for clothes has left you famished. Boys are sensible creatures you know…they will never stop you from eating (within limits, of course) as long as you promise them you’ll take yourself to the nearest gym and pledge a lifetime of emptying out your wallet and Swiss bank accounts to get yourself tortured.

Whether you end up dragging yourself to the gym later won't matter. Sensible boys can also be distracted easily ;-)

*****

Cashmere Boyfriend Sweater - Gap, $98

Cashmere Shawl Popover - J. Crew, $129.99

Cowl Neck Sweater Dress - Banana Republic, $98

Puffed Vest - Gap, $49.99

Cropped Trenchcoat - Gap, $79.50

Mid-length Trench Coat - Gap, $88

Wool Trenchcoat - Banana Republic, $230

Wedding Bells

Gotcha!

Not mine.

But people around me are getting married like it's soon going to go out of fashion! There is a line-up of weddings in December & January. All fairly close people which means I need to show up at more than one function (the wedding), and I have a grave problem at hand…I don’t have enough Indian party wear! Heck, I don’t have enough Indian wear in the first place except sarees, which in my perpetual state of “healthiness” and my terrible draping skills, make me look like a freshly-fed cow!!

The thing is I don’t buy salwar kameezes for myself except for a kurti here or there, for work purpose, that I dunk over a white churidaar. Usually. Most of my salwar kameez shopping is done by my mom. She just buys a bunch of suit pieces, and my sister & I choose the ones we like when we’re home or when she comes over. Like most Indian moms, she has an amazing rapport with shop keepers who gladly take the rejects back.

The problem is most tailors don’t do a good job with party wear. In any case, you’d like to have some embroidery on your party wear, which is outside their realm. So one is left with no choice but to go to designers (boutique owner types) who milk you for all that you’re worth. But then, when you’re resembling a freshly fed cow, you’re not left with too many options.

Gah, I hate the wedding season!!

Of Legers & Birkins & Louboutins

Sorry for another Bollywood post y'all, but what can I say? I'm a Bollywood & fashion junky :) You're better off skipping this post if you aren't.

The Daily Mail, UK recently did an article on Shilpa Shetty where she spoke about her designer collection. I'm putting up a few excerpts here & my reactions to some of her statements when I was reading them. For the entire post, go here. It's highly entertaining.

Shilpa Shetty owes all the money that she has today, and that she's splurging on designer clothes, shoes & bags, and mansions in London, to Big Brother. Life can be so unfair at times.

Anyway, read on. It's her quotes followed by my reaction to it...

"I believe style is inherent. You can learn a bit about it, but essentially you either have it within you or you don’t."

I think style is totally learnt. You're not born stylish, you pick it up along the way. Your style is influenced by the place you grow up in, the people & media you're exposed to etc. People's sense of style changes all the time as well. Take Shilpa Shetty for example. This is what she was then...

And this is what she is now!!

So don't tell us you were born this stylish honey, because we have photographic evidence you weren't!!

"With an outfit like blue jeans with a crisp white shirt and a tan belt, you can never go wrong."

Have to agree with her on this one. And no black shoes with tan belts please. Or brown shoes with black belts. Though since color blocking is so hot right now, you can wear shoes of any color! Neon pink, canary yellow, parrot green, purple...it's in! And you can carry a bag of a completely different color all together! What fun it is to play with colors!!

"As someone in the public eye, it’s hard to wear an outfit more than once. I love buying clothes but I don’t know what I do with them all. I actually have two wardrobes, as I live six months of the year in India and six months in the UK."

Oh, poor you. How many outfits do you own exactly?

Can you imagine not being able to wear an outfit more than once? Can you? That too, outfits that will leave your bank account looking like it got sucked by a vaccuum cleaner. Such a colossal waste of money. And I'm assuming by "two wardrobes" she doesn't mean two humble Godrej cupboards. More like two walking closets that are a kilometer long each.

"Although, when I really like an item, I buy two so I can keep one in London and one in Bombay."

OH MY DEAR LORD

"I swear by the Hervé Léger bandage dress for nights out. It just makes your body look a million dollars."

Sure it does darling. IF one's got a body like your's. That 'IF' has turned many women anorexic & taken many lives. For those not clued in, this is the Herve Leger Bandage dress:

This dress is cruel even if it's worth lusting for...it will most definitely highlight every spoonful of cellulite that you have on your body. It is also one of the dresses that I'm willing to shear off layers of fat from my body like they shear the sheep in New Zealand.

"DRESSES: Between 40 and 50 dresses. I have a whole mix, from Donna Karan and Jasmine di Milo, to Chloe and Hervé Léger.

SHOES: Around 60 pairs of heels and flats, including Louboutin, Chanel, Gina, Prada, Louis Vuitton and Marc Jacobs.

HANDBAGS: Approximately 50. I have handbags from Chanel, Bottega Veneta, Prada, and Hermes."

Oh how I hate you. I really do.

"JEANS: 45 pairs, with a mix of all styles, including skinny, boyfriend fit and straight fit. I love J Brand and Elliott - I have four pairs of Elliott boyfriend jeans at the moment."

45 pairs??????? Does she also have them in pink & yellow? And green & red & fuschia? But seriously man, 45 pairs? How the hell do you decide which one you feel like wearing? And what the hell are "boyfriend" jeans? Does anyone know?

"TROUSERS: Around 60 pairs of smart trousers, mostly in greys and blues."

The shock continues...

This is the Hermes Birkin she has, which I think costs only a few thousand dollars (around Rs 10 lacs if I'm not mistaken. If not this, then there's another model that costs 10 lacs, I'm not kidding!!)

It was gifted to her by her boyfriend, of course.

And these are her Christian Louboutin Nude shoes...again, only a couple of hundred dollars

Shilpa Shetty is also supposed to be launching her own range of curry in the UK. Which means more Legers, Birkins & Louboutins for the her.

Oh well...I think I'll just go take comfort in my Butter Chicken. At least I'm happy I get to eat what I want. So what if I can't fit into a Bandage dress?

So We’ve Been Good This Weekend!!

Shopping (for clothes, shoes & bags though not necessarily in that order) & desserts are two of my biggest weaknesses, and I was good on both counts.

After unexplained and totally unnecessary crying over the complete absence of shopping in my life, I went to my favorite store (in India at least) - Cotton World - over the weekend. I hadn’t been there in AGES, so I was ravenous for clothes! Raided the entire store and ended up trying some 20 outfits (!!) out of which I short-listed 9. But obviously I couldn’t walk out of the store with all 9 items in tow, or it would’ve put all those months of abstinence to waste.

So I went on another round of trials, after which I sadly and with a leaden heart let go of four. It was a very tough decision folks, to let go of a sexy top, uber-cute pajamas (baby pink with white polka dots) & the cutest sleeping shorts (with pink & purple hearts on them et al). Sob sob :((

I was depressed. To put myself in a happier place again, I decided I wanted cheesecake. I headed to a patisserie....but....just then....alarms bells went off in my head! (Remember, we haven’t lost the entire 10kgs yet?)

Gaaaaah....goddamn alarm bells! They always go off at the wrong time!!

So there I was standing in front of the patisserie with the sad face of a baby that wants chocolate but doesn’t get it, while there was a huge war waging inside my head....like the war between the id & the superego! 'Id' wanted that cheesecake, which I could so clearly see calling out to me from inside the patisserie (they have voices, trust me!), but the superego was yelling “Leave! You’re fat! You don’t need that cheesecake!”

And I walked away.

Sigh…depravity! How difficult can life get? But the same evening, my sister came over with a box of freshly baked, warm & gooey chocolate chip and walnut cookies from Cookie Man.

There’s always justice in the universe, you know? What's yours shall be yours forever. No one can take it away from you :P

Taking a Step Back

I'm not a clingy person, definitely not as far as my friendships are concerned. I like to give people space when they want, just as much as I appreciate people who give me mine. I don’t get aggravated if a friend does not return my calls at times, unless it becomes a pattern of course. I’m OK if a friend I had plans with wants to take a rain check. I don’t feel our friendship is dying if I don’t hear from a friend for a while.

However, as far as relationships are concerned I feel I still have some way to go. I’m not clingy or needy, but there are times when I want to be a part of the other person’s plans constantly. And then suddenly I realize that I need to take a step back and give the other person their space. It’s OK if they want some ‘me’ time or to hang out with their guy friends. It’s only fair – b/c I too am very particular about my time with my other friends. But for an attention-craving person like me (yes yes, I admit I do crave attention....majorly....but only from people I love) it's tough to let myself not be the center of attention all the time :) And it’s tough especially when I don't have plans of my own.

I was reading an article by Gitanjali Kirloskar in a newspaper supplement once where she was talking about how she too was extremely clingy in the first few years of her marriage. She wanted to be around her husband all the time, wanted her husband to talk to her all the time and involve her in everything she did. And she would feel dejected whenever he didn’t. But gradually as years went by, she realized that she needed to leave him alone at times, and her marriage was that much better for it.

I’m sure people who have been married for sometime feel the same way. And I’m sure the transition was difficult for them too. So what about you? Do you, at times, have trouble taking a step back as well?

What Do You Carry With You?

Big bags are currently 'hotter' than baked potatoes straight out of the oven. Men have been perplexed by what such monstrous bags could contain for quite some time now. Here's my list:

• Wallet
• Cheque book
• Shades
• Glasses
• Hair brush
• Face wash
• Moisturizer
• Hand cream
• Cell phone
• Sanitary pad
• Meftalspas
• Saridon
• Perfume / deo
• Book (at most times)
• Wet wipes
• Hand sanitizer
• Face towel
• Umbrella (during monsoon)
• Chap stick
• Gloss
• Eye liner
• Pen drive

No wonder my bag weighs a hundred lbs all the time! Anyone out there that can beat me? :)

'Public Enemies' & Bra Shopping

Yes, you read that right. So those of you who’re not interested in my bra shopping trip this past weekend, or find such a topic offensive, are advised to skip to the second part of this post. Unless you’re also not interested in ‘Public Enemies’, then you can skip this entire post!

*****

I detest bra shopping. I think anyone who’s above a 34B does. Am I right?

I don’t squeal at the sight of sexy lace or cute polka-dotted bras like many other PYTs.

It’s very difficult to find the right bra – one that looks pretty/cute, yet gives your breasts the support they need and gives your body a nice contour. Needless to mention that most bras that do all of the above-mentioned things cost a bomb! But the process of trying one bra after another to find the one that fits right is extremely tiring.

To make matters worse, there are so many companies in India offering a wide range of bras these days, both in terms of designs & style - racer-back, push-up, cross-your-heart, padded, strapless, clear straps, under wired, demi-cup, convertible, multi-way, t-shirt, minimizer, maximizer, shelf, peephole etc. Trial sessions are exhausting!!

This past weekend Marks & Spencer, where bras retail at Rs 1300-1400 a piece, had an up to 60% off sale, including on lingerie, which is a rarity. I needed to buy a couple of t-shirt bras so I went.

The store was a madhouse! Aunties carried armloads of sexy bras into the trial rooms and remained there forever. Frankly speaking, I couldn’t imagine any of them being able to carry off any of those bras. No offence to aunties but I somehow can’t imagine chhachh-drinking thepla-serving aunties with potbellies & hips wider than the state of Texas wearing sexy barely-there bras.

And this one aunty told her husband to kindly stay away from the bra section of the store while she shopped for bras. I’m sure they were married for more than 20 years!

AND…what’s with lecherous middle-aged men with pot-bellies & oiled hair standing in the bra section, leching at women buying bras??!!! It’s sickening! They make you so uncomfortable…it seems their tongue would hang out any moment.

So did I find the right bra? Yes, I did! It was a steal too, considering it’s a Marks & Spencer bra. I got 2 for 1400 bucs, where as each of them individually would’ve cost about that much without the sale. So yayyy!!

*****

On a totally separate note, I watched ‘Public Enemies’ this weekend. Had to b/c of Johnny Depp. The movie revolves around the notorious bank robber of the Depression era (1930s), John Dillinger, who became such a huge problem for the United States government that they had to get the FBI involved in capturing him “dead or dead”. Of course, as in all movies that have the battle between vice & virtue as their pivot, this movie too has a predictable ending, but the cat & mouse game keeps you engaged. More than that you marvel at the self-confidence of the outlaw – manifested in the number of times he escapes from jail, walks into the room of the ‘Dillinger Hunting Squad’ at the Chicago Police Department (without a disguise), asks for the score of the baseball game & walks out, and how he sneaks out undetected (again without disguise) even when he’s surrounded by the police!

I won’t rave about the movie but I found it reasonably good. It’s engrossing throughout, has a brilliant background score & a smoldering Johnny Depp (no surprises there :). Christian Bale (Batman) was suitably subdued. Marion Cotillard is far prettier in real life than she’s looked in the movie.

If you love Johnny Depp, go watch it! The movie is no ‘Finding Neverland’, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ or ‘Charlie & the Chocolate Factory’ but it’s still worth watching for Johnny Depp.

The Clothes Story

We usually talk about how the people we come across in our lives change the way we are as human beings, influence our opinions, thought-processes, behavior & all those exalted things. But has someone you’ve come across ever changed the way you dress?

Well, it’s happened to me for sure – for good or bad.

I used to be pretty much an eye-liner & hoops girl till I moved to Bombay & started living with this crazy chick from PR (said with utmost fondness believe you me). She brought along earrings (bought mostly from Colaba Causeway), a variety of flat sandals/chappals & multi-colored Oshos (again from Colaba Causeway), the ubiquitous Cotton World (that till date dominates my wardrobe, much like Gap & Old Navy did during my college days) and just the right amount of “bling” in one’s overall appearance to give one that edge without being over-the-top!!

And then came A. Before you raise that eyebrow, I do not dress like a boy now! ;)

A makes me think about the clothes I buy. He is anti wearing stuff pulled off the shelves at Shoppers’ Stop, Pantaloons, Westside & the like, for the simple reason that almost every other person would own the same outfits. (Thank God Cotton World isn’t everyone’s favorite haunt or what would I do!!)

He picks colors that aren’t very common. He’s conscious of every inch of fat on his body (the one teaspoonful that he probably has!). He’s very aware of what looks good on him & what doesn’t. He’s insists one must be very careful not to pick outfits that highlight those parts of one's body where fat has applied for & gained permanent residency!

And with time, you start to think like him too…Much to your aggravation because for people like me, who have been lovingly blessed with many many tablespoonfuls (heck, make that truckfuls) of fat on their body, it can be a pain to find an outfit that you like AND which isn’t very common AND which doesn’t highlight your fat reserves.

Sigh....the cruel ways in which nature, society and God (if there is one) choose to show their love for us!!

The Story of a Shoe

We (women that is) love our shoes. They are an integral part of our existence & happiness, and can go a long way in getting us attention. Sadly, they can also be a source of much worry. Ever had the heels/straps of your shoes give way while you were traveling or on your way to a client meeting?

It's one of those things you wish never happen to you. But what happened with me today takes the cake.

I wore my new shoes to work (lovely white ones…I’ve wanted white shoes for a long long time), and just as I was about to step out of the cab in front of office, the bow on top of both shoes fell off! All within half an hour of wearing them! And I paid 1000 bucs for them. They were apparently stuck on to the shoes & not stitched on.

So...I pick up my pretty little bows & walk in to work all upset & just then a colleague goes, “Hey, nice shoes!”

You can imagine the look on my face!!

And what’ll you guess, during the course of the day, at least 5 other people have complimented me on my shoes! And I’m like “They’ll look prettier with BOWS on them!!!”

Said with a mix of anger & 'poor me' face :(

Oh well, life is tough.

Skirting the Issue

WARNING: GIRLY POST AHEAD

Moonshine put up a post on skirts. I just HAD to follow it up with one of my own!

I love skirts. There is no attire, except gowns & saris, that can make a woman feel as feminine and fabulous as a skirt can. You start feeling pretty the moment you put on a skirt, it's that powerful! :)

The other reason I love skirts is because I associate them with spring & summer. And the moment I think of spring, visions of flowers in full bloom all around and a pleasant breeze start flashing in my head. I quite dislike wearing jeans during the summer, so a skirt works just fine :)

I mostly wear knee-length skirts.....sometimes with stilletos for a dressed up look but mostly with flip flops or any other kind of flats for a casual look. I have the most trouble with skirts that end midway down your calves. I just don't know what kind of shoes to wear with them! Flats.....Heels.....Wedges? Nothing looks good on them.

My favorite though are really short skirts that one can wear with knee-length boots. They can kill ;)

I remember as a kid I used to feel really shy wearing trousers! Or jeans for that matter. For what joy, I do not know. But I used to howl....I used to howl my lungs & eyes out the moment I saw my mom laying a pair of trousers on the bed before taking me in for a bath. I was such a dumb child.....I'd never run around the house and give my mom hell. I'd just stand there like a stupid child & cry!

I used to play mainly with boys so I don't know why I was so shy of wearing trousers. I just felt so awkward in them. I would only wear skirts & frocks.....spaghetti, tube, halter, the works! And I'd make my mom get these really lovely gowns stitched for me on my birthday every year, that I'd wear for my birthday party. I had quite a few of them accumulated across the years.....don't know where they are now!

Point is.....I used to be really girly when I was a kid. Traces of it still remain.....I love dressing up every once in a while, love wearing heels, love to wear earrings, love wearing skirts, love pink! But for the most part I dress conveniently which includes jeans, capris, shorts and the like.