Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Financial Planning in the Times of PMS

(Title inspired by 'Love in the Times of Cholera' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

A was trying to instill better financial discipline in Scarlett. In the middle of the conversation Scarlett starts crying & here’s the conversation that ensued:

A: Why are you crying?????

Scarlett: (Sobbing) You have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve gone shopping or bought something nice for myself!

A: How long?

Scarlett: (Screaming through sobs) Six months!!

A: (With raised eyebrow) Really?

Scarlett: (Completely hysterical) What do you mean ‘really’? It’s been six months! I haven’t bought any clothes or shoes or bags for myself! I’ve only bought a pair of flip flops, that too for 250 bucs!

A: Why haven’t you bought anything?

Scarlett: Because most of my money goes in paying my fat-ass landlord and my student loan and my stupid maid and milk man and newspaper guy and cable guy and my electricity bill and telephone bill and my goddamn investments! It seems I earn just so I can pay people!!!!! And if I go shopping all the time I will not have any savings!

A: (Cautiously) You can go shopping some times.

Scarlett: (Wailing) No I can’t! I can’t!

A: But why?

Scarlett: (Screaming) I just told you why! Don't you understand English?

A: I do! But why are you crying?????

Scarlett: I haven’t been shopping in six months!!!

A: Don’t cry! I’ll take you shopping this weekend. We’ll shop all weekend. You can buy whatever you want. Clothes, bags, shoes…whatever! Just please don’t cry!

Scarlett: (Crying even louder) It’s not about shopping!

A: (Confounded) It isn’t?

Scarlett: No!

A: Then what is it about?

Scarlett: I never seem to have enough money to buy all the things that I want to, in spite of working so hard.

A: So it IS about shopping!

Scarlett: No it’s not! Why can’t you understand!

A: OK…whatever. OK let’s make a plan….but stop crying first…Jesus Christ!

A: OK, here’s the plan…I’ll take you shopping every month & you can buy whatever you want to. But don’t cry!

A: (Hyperventilating, doesn't know what to do) Oh God..Oh God..Oh God…Why are you crying?????


Moonshine said...

Am curious.. does A read your posts? lol

This week defines the same for me pretty much .. so i know what you talking.. :(

And last week.. had big time mood changes.. i was explaining to various ppl as to how exhausted i am.. genuinely.. but could not make him/them understand..!!!!

Scarlett said...

@Moonshine - A doesn't read my posts! He thinks blogging is a waste of time. He's not even on FB for the same reason.

I'm actually not PMSing right now. Atleast I'm not supposed to...but I can't find any other logical explanation for such random, bizarre behavior so I'm attributing it to PMS anyway! What a convenient excuse we (women) have for inexplicable mood swings!! :D

Moonshine said...

He thinks blogging is a waste of time... really???????

Read that book.. female brain.. its good.

The knife said...

my sympathies to A... I think the male part member of a relation also goes through PMS pains...

Scarlett said...

@Moonshine - He's very sociable. He believes in socializing in person, not virtually. Boys!

@The Knife - Maybe they do but only mentally. We're screwed twice over. My argument to all men is, "the least you can do is put up with it!" :)

The knife said...

actually I am more on the virtual world while my girl is more in real life... so not a booys will be boys thing... unless this separates the men from the boys

Scarlett said...

@The Knife - He is NOT a boy!!!!! :p

Ashwin said...

You should link your blog to Facebook & have them appear as notes.

Scarlett said...

@Ashwin - Thanks but think I'll pass :) It's an anonymous blog, remember? Atleast till the time I decide against venting my frustratrations against people on the blog. Linking it to my profile wouldn't help much. Besides, I don't wall all my friends & acquaintances reading my blog :)

Ashwin said...

Oh yeah. I often forget the anonymous bit :)