Note to Supermarket Shoppers

Ssupermarkets aren’t the place to bring your half a dozen kids for a picnic or a family outing. Take them to a park. And for Christ’s sake, have you heard of family planning?

If you insist on bringing your half a dozen kids to the supermarket and let them loose to run riot, expect them to get hit by a cart or shopping baskets laden with groceries. And you dare not glare at the poor shopper pushing the overflowing cart/basket that hit your kid. You should be thankful he/she didn’t trample your kid.

Let me check with the supermarket staff if it's legal to slap screaming, tanrtumy kids on their premises.

Are supermarkets really your idea of entertainment? Really?

The aisles are meant for free passage of shoppers pushing trolleys, not for you to have a bitch session with your long lost BFF about another woman in your friend circle, with both your trolleys blocking the passage.

When I say “Excuse me” it means “Move your ass. Now” Don’t pretend you didn’t hear it. Get your ass off the floor where you’re comparing prices of Vim Bar & Pril on the bottom shelf, get your mewling kids out of the way, pull your cart as close to you as you can, and stop giving me dirty looks because if someone deserves dirty looks, it’s you.

That silk sari with zardozi that you’re wearing & the 10 kg of gold on you belong at a wedding, not at a place you come to buy dal, chawal, atta, toothpaste, ketchup, detergent & toilet cleaning liquid. Unless you plan to pay for them with gold instead of cash.

Don’t look at my basket containing my monthly groceries with jealousy. I didn’t ask you to produce half a dozen kids.

Fat hippopotamus aunty, for the last time - will you stop pushing me into the shelves whenever you pass by or knocking my knees with your basket? If you can’t fit into the goddamn aisle, send your scrawny husband to shop. Because if you push me one more time, I’m going to elbow you right in your stomach.

Store attendants – Don’t hover when I don’t need you. How come you’re never around when I do? And for God’s sake, know which products & brands your store stocks! Because if I ask you whether you have a particular product/brand and you say no, and I find it on the very next shelf, I’m going to open a pack of that product and smash your face right into it. My aggression levels are very high when I’m grocery shopping, courtesy fat aunties & uncles who block the way and refuse to move, and their bratty kids who think throwing roll-on-the-floor tantrums are cute.

No, you are not more important than me. Neither am I in less of a rush than you are. Wait your turn at the cashier’s. Don’t jump the queue, unless you want your foot to be stomped on. Remember that thing I said about my aggression levels while grocery shopping?

The little plastic bags provided in the produce section is for you to wrap your fruits & vegetables in. Don’t simply load fruits & veggies into your cart by the handful and expect the cashier to get someone to run all the way to the produce section to wrap them up for you. The people waiting behind you in line will not give you friendly, endearing smiles. You deserve the dirty looks they give you and they’re most likely also cussing you out in their heads for holding the line.

If you are finicky about the way your items are packaged, let the cashier know in advance. Don’t let him/her pack the contents while you’re busy make eyes at your husband/boyfriend or bitching some more about your neighbor to another neighbor, and make the cashier unpack all your bags & repack them as per your whims.

There are enough shopping baskets & carts to go around. You will not have to lug your monthly groceries in one arm while balancing your howling infant in another. So stop pushing & shoving me to grab a basket/cart.

Shop with a list. It’s not funny or amusing when the person in front of me in the check out queue sends her co-shopper to grab a dozen things he/she forgot, while he/she is being billed. Holding the line because of your own stupidity is not going to earn you any admirers.

If you change your mind about an item you’ve already put in your cart, put it back in its right place or hand it over to store attendant so they can. Don’t just randomly discard it anywhere in the store. Someone else might be looking for that item & there might be just that one piece left in the supermarket.

If you haven’t bothered to pay your credit card bill and your card has been blocked, have another card or enough cash handy to pay for your groceries. Don’t make the poor, hassled cashier swipe your card again & again, and act as if you didn’t know your card was blocked. It’s not his job to pay your credit card bills on time.

DO NOT STEP ON MY TOE. Particularly if you weigh 120 kgs. I will compensate for the difference in our weights with the spikes on my heel.

And now they want to kill us

The retarded politicians of India are at it again. Only this time, the issue is much more serious and endangers the health of an entire nation of 1 billion plus people.

Monsanto, a US based agricultural bio-technology corporation that promotes Genetically Modified (GM) crops in India through one of its companies, Mahyco (Maharashtra Hybrid Seeds Company), has developed Bt brinjal, a genetically modified variety of brinjal.

The Genetic Engineering Approval Committee (GEAC), the clearing authority for all GM crops in India has cleared Bt brinjal on the basis of test results submitted by Mahyco. The crop now awaits a nod from the government before it is made available for commercial cultivation.

Mr Jairam Ramesh, Minister of State for Environment & Forests has said that since there are “strong” views both for and against GM crops, he would conduct a series of consultations with scientists, agricultural experts, farmers, consumer groups & NGOs next year in order to decide the future of Bt brinjal.

What do you reckon will happen after these consultations? The politicians, bought off handsomely by Mahyco, will ignore the protests of the consumer groups & NGOs and give the green light to Bt brinjal for commercial cultivation.

Consumer activists who managed to get hold of Mahyco’s test results through the RTI sent the results to independent scientists in Europe for review. The scientists wrote back, showing that the tests conducted by Mahyco were inadequate - the longest toxicity tests were only for 90 days, which does not assess long-term effects of the toxins such as development of cancers or tumors, and the tests were conducted using only one Bt toxin rather than the hybrid toxin present in Bt brinjals. They also cited inconsistencies in Mahyco’s interpretation of the results & mentioned that Bt brinjal is unfit for human consumption.

Here's why:

1. Bt brinjal produces a protein in vegetable cells that induces antibiotic resistance. This is not only a problem (for obvious reasons), it also indicates that Mahyco is using old GM technology as the current technology used by developed countries has overcome the problem of antibiotic resistance.
2. Bt brinjal is toxic. When fed to animals, it affected their blood chemistry, blood clotting time & total bilirubin (indicator of liver health).
3. It led to weight gain & intake of more roughage in lactating cows even as it increased milk production by 10-14 percent, an effect similar to that brought about by hormonal treatment.
4. Rats fed Bt brinjal got diarrhoea, had increased water consumption & decrease in liver weight.
5. It is unsafe to consume animals (chicken, goat, cow etc.) that have been fed Bt brinjal.
6. The Bt toxins have never been authorized for human consumption & are known to be harmful to health

So this highly toxic Bt brinjal might be unleashed upon us (Indians) with complete disregard for our health & safety, and guess what? We wouldn’t even know we are consuming this dangerous product thanks to the absence of a labeling regime for GM crops in India!!

Just to put things into perspective – GM foods are banned in Europe, and they face widespread protests in the United States. While currently the US does allow GM foods to be sold in the market, they are required to be labeled so clearly & accurately, so the consumers can decide whether they wish to purchase them or not. Indians however, remain lab rats available for exploitation.

Luxury Travel No More?

If Shashi Tharoor thought traveling Economy on airplanes was "cattle class" travel, wonder what he would think about this??!!!

Design Q, a British design firm, has come up with this new seating design for aircrafts that could help airlines cut costs by increasing the number of passengers on board by upto 50%!

As small consolation, thankfully, for now they're proposing this seating arrangement only for flights of one hour duration or less. The magnanimous people that they are, they're also giving us a choice : if you want to sit facing forward - in the conventional manner of seating in an aircraft - you can. You will just have to pay more!

And you thought there were free cookies in this world! Cookie Man might give them to you for free to sample them, but they also give you sordid stares if you walk away without purchasing any.

Anyway, so the folks at Design Q who came up with this retarded seating arrangement (according to me, anyway...you could argue it's "innovative"), have also been kind enough to remind us that people might not be happy with this new seating design (oh yeah, you think?), but if airlines are able to carry more number of passengers, the air fares would drop!!

Why couldn't I do that simple math? Stupid, stupid me...

It's A Sony

SONY ERICSSON HAS SOLD ME A PIECE OF SHIT PHONE!!!!!

My phone is brand new. And expensive. Bought it in October 2008. Just one week after buying the phone, I had to give it for repair as there was some problem with the battery. Imagine! I fought and fought and fought with them to replace the battery but they wouldn’t. So I gave it to them for repair & they kept it for two weeks. Two bloody long weeks!!

They suck! Sony Ericsson sucks!!

And now again my phone is acting psychotic. The screen goes dark randomly, sometimes it doesn’t ring even when someone calls/messages & sometimes it refuses to play music. And a little while ago I dropped it - on to a carpeted floor - and the screen conked off! I just cannot use my phone!! So I will have to give it for repair again and God knows how long they will keep it for.

I'm still at work & my darling Motorazr is at home, and so I'm without a phone :(

And GOD, it's difficult!!

People, next time you buy a phone, buy a Nokia or a Motorola (though I heard Moto is wrapping up their business in India or something of the sort. Confirmations anyone??)

So yeah, basically I HAD to blast the sucky piece of shit company called Sony Ericsson on a public forum. I hope they all die and go to cell phone hell where they have to eat & crap big fat cell phones day in & day out :D

I feel better now.