Friday, April 24, 2009

Sleepless in South Africa

The Fake IPL Player has rattled the peace in the ANZ Knight Riders camp (thanks Knife for such an appropriate nomenclature) and is giving sleepless nights to the team owner & management, who are reportedly "gunning for his blood". There are rumors that the blog is a doing of the Knight Riders owner and his over-active PR company, which could very well be true except I’m not sure the megalomaniac that SRK is, he would let people refer to himself as ‘Badshah Dildo’.

The blog has been in existence merely a week & already has close to 2000 followers! Man, wouldn’t we die for such a following! ;)

My take on him? I don't think he is a real player from the IPL camp.Think about it – how can he have the time to write so many posts everyday when the team is busy with practice & matches (that they lose anyway)? Even if he is not in the playing 11, as he insists, he still is part of the squad...meaning he can’t possibly be chilling out in the Savannahs while the rest of his team mates are practicing. And even if he does have all the time in the world, wouldn’t people get suspicious when he’s hunched over his laptop all day, typing away? Especially when they know there's someone (who claims to be one of them) maligning them on the world wide web?

Secondly, no player will risk having his career ruined – which I think is precisely what SRK & his beloved Aussie coach would do if he gets found out!

Some of the characters & teams he refers to in his blogs are:

Kishen Kanaiyya - Ravi Shastri

Appam C*****a – Sreeshanth

Pedophile Priest – Adam Gilchrist

Kaan Moolo – Ajith Agarkar (b/c of his enormous ears)

Big Sister – Shilpa Shetty

Prince Charles of Patiala – Yuvraj Singh

Lordie – Sourav Ganguly

Babli – Preity Zinta

Calypso King – Chris Gayle

Dildo / Badshah Dildo – SRK

Hawaii Chappal – Greg Chapel

Junta Tormentor – Ajantha Mendis

Sandy Baddy Babe – Mandira Bedi

Little John – Ishant Sharma

Bangla Tiger – Mushrafe Murtaza

Sheikh of Tweak - Shane Warne

Meera Bhai - Harbhajan Singh

Mr.Batlivala - Vijay Mallya

Phoren Babas - Brendon McCullum & John Buchanan

Bevdaa Team - Bangalore Royal Challengers

Big Sister’s Team - Rajasthan Royals

Bubblie’s Team - Kings XI Punjab

Have to give it to the guy – he’s quite smart. He’s figured out the way to make his claim of being an actual Knight Rider believable. He writes about situations which are very real & incidents can actually happen...stuff like what gets discussed & who does what during team meetings, what goes on in the dressing room, what happens in the dug out etc. Anyone who reads his blogs will think he is who he claims to be. Except it is kind of silly to believe that. It makes the blogs less fun to read (than it would’ve been had he really been a Knight Rider dishing out dirt on the various players & management)...but it’s fun nonetheless!


The knife said...

You are welcome.

Would you believe it, I cheered loudly for RR in the last over specially since Buchanan came out for his finishing touch and didn't let Ganguly bat. Warne rocks

My take on fake:

- done for IPL organiser, gets interest up plus noone dares say no
- done by Google to garner awareness for blogging
- done by the chhotu Khan in the film industry, who blogs, would write in perfect grammer and doesn't like Dildo (see I am picking up)

Scarlett said...

I was cheering for the Royals too. Batting the way Yusuf Pathan did takes class! And I loved the way Warne was interacting with his team. He mostly has unexperienced players barely out of their teens to play with, but he seems to be so patient, calm & caring with them. What a leader, man! No wonder they won last year. I'm sure our royal ANZ Knight Riders wouldn't be able to win even if they had 4 captains!!