Thursday, September 3, 2009

Taking a Step Back

I'm not a clingy person, definitely not as far as my friendships are concerned. I like to give people space when they want, just as much as I appreciate people who give me mine. I don’t get aggravated if a friend does not return my calls at times, unless it becomes a pattern of course. I’m OK if a friend I had plans with wants to take a rain check. I don’t feel our friendship is dying if I don’t hear from a friend for a while.

However, as far as relationships are concerned I feel I still have some way to go. I’m not clingy or needy, but there are times when I want to be a part of the other person’s plans constantly. And then suddenly I realize that I need to take a step back and give the other person their space. It’s OK if they want some ‘me’ time or to hang out with their guy friends. It’s only fair – b/c I too am very particular about my time with my other friends. But for an attention-craving person like me (yes yes, I admit I do crave attention....majorly....but only from people I love) it's tough to let myself not be the center of attention all the time :) And it’s tough especially when I don't have plans of my own.

I was reading an article by Gitanjali Kirloskar in a newspaper supplement once where she was talking about how she too was extremely clingy in the first few years of her marriage. She wanted to be around her husband all the time, wanted her husband to talk to her all the time and involve her in everything she did. And she would feel dejected whenever he didn’t. But gradually as years went by, she realized that she needed to leave him alone at times, and her marriage was that much better for it.

I’m sure people who have been married for sometime feel the same way. And I’m sure the transition was difficult for them too. So what about you? Do you, at times, have trouble taking a step back as well?


Moonshine said...

I am an attention seeking person too... i crave attention .. like you said from people i am very close to!! I stick on like a leech.. i hate it when plans do not include me. So you are not alone!!! :)

But i get enough time on my own during the week to demand 100% attention over weekends!!!

Scarlett said...

I'm in a similar position so I too think I'm entitled to complete & undivided attention over weekends. Sadly, I don't get :(((

Moonshine said...

So ask for it!!!!!!! :)

Or maybe you start doing your on thing over weekends.. and then see how he asks you the same q!!! :)

Scarlett said...

@Moonshine - You're such a genius!