Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Judge Affair

Every channel you tune in to these days has reality shows being aired. All kinds of reality shows…singing shows (let’s not even bother naming them), dancing shows, cookery shows (Anthony Bourdain, Nigella Lawson, Jamie Oliver), action shows (the Fear Factor variety), bitchy shows (the Get Gorgeous-Splistvilla-Big Boss kinds), talent shows (America’s Got Talent), Game Shows (Paanchvi Pass, 10 Ka Dum) etc. The ones I want to talk about are the dance shows such as Nach Baliye, Jhalak Dikhla Jaa & numerous other dance shows I don’t bother watching.

My question is…on what basis do they choose the judges for these shows? They are as random as they can get!!

Take for example, Urmila Matondkar who was the judge on the last season of Jhalak Dikhla Jaa. That woman is W-E-I-R-D. Do you guys remember how she used to speak (Hindi especially) & her facial expressions? I used to constantly wonder what part of Earth she has come from!! She was like an overly-botoxed-key-in-the-arse-doll. You key her & she’d start making weird faces & talking in this weird accent that does not belong to this country or any country for that matter!!! She’s hosting another singing show I think (where the whole big happy family sings) & she’s even weirder in that show!!!

Then there was Shilpa Shetty on Season 1 of Jhalak Dikhla Jaa (along with Sanjay Leela Bhansali!!!). On what basis was she selected as the judge for the show? Just because she was practically jobless at that point of time (pre-Big Brother) & had plenty of time to spare? Come to think of it, how did Sanjay Leela Bhansali qualify to judge a dance show??

There was another show with Kunal Kohli (the guy who directed Hum Tum & Fanaa) as one of the judges. Why??

Malaika Arora Khan has made a career out of judging reality shows!! I think it’s because she’s willing to spill her boobs all over TV that she’s hired over & over again and put on the judges seat with minimal clothing.

I mean, does the fact that you have a couple of hit “item” songs to your credit automatically qualify you to become a reality show judge? Do you know all there is to know about dancing because you shot a 5-minute song over 3 days with 1 million re-takes?

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