Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tollywood Calling

The following is a review of the Bengali remake of 'Jism' published in The Telegraph. The movie stars one of the topmost actresses of the Bengali film industry who, I believe, has also acted in a couple of Hindi movies (which I have NOT seen and therefore, do not remember the name :-)

Read's H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!


Which of the following best describes Trishna?
a) gross; b) silly c) lewd d) bawdy

All of the above!

Half-an-hour into the Friday premiere show at Menoka, the lights go out and you feel like scampering out, taking advantage of the darkness, with your sanity still intact.

Though almost a scene-by-scene copy of John Abraham-Bipasha Basu’s Jism, Pritam Jalan’s Trishna is nothing more than a sleaze fest with Tolly’s leading heroine ‘showing’ the way.

Rituparna, like Bips in Jism, grabs a man (here photographer Angshuman) by his you-know-what only to use him to murder her husband Arindam Sil and grab his you-know-what (wealth, silly).

The tale of deceit and murder begins in Sundarpur and ends on the beach of Miami (Mandarmoni, we presume), when Rituparna is a freebird and Angshuman a jailbird.

There’s a lot of Jism in terms of plot but nothing of its polish, a lot of Jism’s flesh but nothing of its fire.

Because Rituparna tries to do a Bips and ends up doing a Sambhavna Seth (and that’s an insult to you-know-who — Sambhavna, silly)

Rituparna’s Trishna dresscode — off-shoulder tops, multi-coloured tights and black underwire bra — does little to hide her not-so-toned tummy and thunder thighs when she stretches on the beach to send her paramour into paroxysms of puerile pleasure.

Angshuman, the man with plucked eyebrows and a stupid smile, lives in a room with pink walls. All he does is stare at Rituparna’s bosom and butt, rub his face against her thighs and cleavage, and make you cringe.

The songs and dialogues add to the horror. He sings Silky sona, lovely sona, Dona Dona, Madonna... and says “Tomar shorir aamar shongo chaichhe” (your body needs my company) with eyes fixed on you-know-what (breasts, silly).

Rituparna is a biological wonder — almost always in an orgasmic state, often when her loverboy is still a safe distance away. Breasts heaving, pelvic thrusting, moaning and groaning, she is unquenchable.

Trishna’s Big moment? Rituparna contorting her facial muscles and whispering: “Just grab me....”


Moonshine said...

I dont know which of your posts is funnier... this one or the one before!!!!

Scarlett said...

Had to put in a funny post. Work's so stressful, man! Surrounding myself with funny things helps :)

Random Words said...

Am laughing all the way!!! thunder thighs, the man with plucked eyebrows, Breasts heaving, pelvic thrusting, moaning and groaning hahaha - where do these guys get this stuff?

Scarlett said...

How can you forget things like "Rituparna is a biological wonder - almost always in an orgasmic state" and "Rituparna contorting her facial muscles and whispering: “Just grab me....”


Moonshine said...

BTW why is bong movie industry called Tollywood?

Scarlett said...

Same reason why Hindi film industry is called Bollywood & South Indian film industry is called Mollywood! They've taken their names behind Hollywood I think. Can you imagine
'Mollywood?? I mean, seriously!!!

Moonshine said...

I mean why is it 'T'ollywood?

Scarlett said...

Don't know? Maybe b/c 'B' is already taken & Tollywood sounds better than Dollywood, Pollywood, Rollywood or Sollywood!! I think the Bengali film industry is based in this area called Tollygunge, maybe that's why.